Balancing Act

That would best describe how I'm trying to manage these days, I suppose. Some work then a break, a mix of the practical then something social, thinking things through gives way to action and then a rest.

I'm making some headway in getting some packing done but not so much as I would like; I get distracted easily by some of the things I'm coming across. Little trips down memory lane....what to keep, what to chuck....

My work with Arlo has hit a blip as he has no-showed for our last 3 arranged meetings, since that one particularly good one where I thought we'd made a breakthrough. That may be some resistance finally coming through; a little defiance at getting too close to the problem / solution. We'll see how Thursday's session goes - if he shows.

I've hit a meeting each night this week and I'm staying tight with the people I know best; talking out the ongoing issues. Hung out in the parking lot after my home group meeting for over an hour yacking on Monday night. I'd spent an hour and a half on the phone Monday talking with a guy I know in similar circumstance and ran into him at a meeting last night. Did a quicky check on how each other is coping. His lady friend entered our women's treatment centre on Monday to try and get herself sorted out on the way to recovery.

Lynda and I continue to hit snags, have upset, then get our heads together and sort out the messes. And that's a good thing. I presented her with an idea she's considering acting on. Seeing as how all her perceptions of me are centred around our home life (in that she isn't allowed to see me at my work; has never involved herself in my 'AA' life) I've invited her to be a 'fly on the wall' and attend my home group meeting next week just to see how it is that I interact with the people there and also the residents from the 'house' ( who will also be attending). It's going to be a special night in that it's a medallion presentation for my friend Terry, in honour of his 25 years of continuous sobriety, and he has honoured me by asking me to chair the meeting. I think it'll be an eye-opener for Lynda that may shift some of her perceptions and see me in a somewhat different light. I've gone through some substantial changes in the last couple of years but she seems stuck in 'what was'. Anyway, she surprised me by saying that she might just take me up on it and attend. We'll see.

Yesterday I spent several hours with Mom running her to appointments, doing some shopping and going out for a bite to eat. She's a blast; we had fun. I have to keep reminding her she doesn't have to rush though - that she's with me, not my sister. Slow down Mabel, this isn't a race for God's sake - you'll wear yourself out!

The other main thing I've been doing is trying to get through to the various utilities and services to get my name off the accounts regarding the house. I don't so much mind automated phone services but I hate these new 'voice' ones that want a response and then repeat everything back to you for confirmation. Bloody timewasters that annoy the hell out of me and usually mis-direct the call anyway. I just keep hitting buttons until a human being comes on the line.

I've been spending some time reading too and splitting that time between Patty Duke's autobiography dealing with her bi-polar condition, and Emmet Fox's "Sermon on the Mount". Duke's book is well done and alternates chapters of her story with informational ones written by a psychiatrist regarding bi-polar and other serious disorders in that 'family'. I'm finding Fox's book to be a grind; a tough read. My problem with it is the way in which it's written; the language is archaic and he overuses run-on sentences - a lot. I find I have to break the sentences down and take out all his qualifiers to start making sense of what he's trying to say. Still, I'm getting a lot out of it and can see why it's been so strongly recommended as a spiritual guide.

It's time to stop reflecting on things and start getting some practical sort of work done. As my Scots boss would say - Have a BRILLIANT day!!