Bitch, bitch, bitch

After the house had been listed for almost a week, Lynda decided to apply for a mortgage and see if she couldn't keep the house. It was for an increased amount so as to buy me out. She came away from the interview feeling disheartened; that she had little chance of getting it. She didn't hear anything that day and by the time I left the house around noon the next day she was about ready to climb the walls. I returned at 3 and heard the loan officer at the bank had called to say she'd been approved. Because Lynda had downplayed the possibility so thoroughly, I was absolutely stunned. The realty agent was already on her way over to cancel the listing and with a great deal of reluctance, I signed off on it. (She was incredibly gracious about it, not charging us anything due to circumstance.)

So, I'm loosing a wife I still love and want to keep. A home I don't want to move from. A big chunk of identity; husband to suddenly single; homeowner to tenant; and on, and on....

In exchange I get a fairly sizable sum of cash. (Thud) A large empty cavity where my heart used to be. (Gack) And a brain that's been through the blender. (Hmmm...messy)

Now I do have the option of dwelling on all that; or not. I'm choosing not to - how successful I'll be, time will tell. Because, on the other hand, I am free to go anywhere and do anything I wish.

I need to start figuring out what my life may be like from this point on.