Over It Now....
'It' being myself. Perhaps I overstated how I was feeling last night as a number of things were working on me. I've been physically unwell for long enough, 4 to 5 weeks, that it's starting to affect the way I think, my attitudes. What I should be doing is enjoying the slowed pace of things and concentrating on recuperating fully - body and mind. There was some wishful thinking at play there, too. That I'd like to sneak a peak at the 'big' plan the Big Guy has in mind for me. Sometimes it would be nice to see where destiny will lead. The 2+ months on day rotation were enough to confirm for me that is the sort of work I'd like to do on a full time basis. It's frustrating that there is no opening here for me to fill. One of the counsellors suggested I randomly sprinkle cyanide over a plate at lunchtime. I told him to be careful; that there would be no favoritism. Ha, ha, ha.
Tonight was a later start time for me as it was an in-house meeting so I laid in late this afternoon. By the time I had a couple of coffees into me Lynda was off work and running hither and yon on a shopping run. I caught her on her cell and invited her over for dinner so we had a few hours together before coming to work. The menu - baked pork chops, scallopped potatoes, fresh veggies; Shiraz for Lynda, blueberry juice for me. We hadn't had many opportunities to talk much this week so we caught each other up on all the details. Besides more talk about how our reunion will happen the big news is that it looks like we're soon going to have a new pet. In addition to our dog Freedom and cats Liberty and Buddy we can look forward to Milo - a Jack Russell / Pug mix who is 13 weeks old. Milo is currently in the care of the daughter of one of Lynda's workmates; she is a vet's assistant and trainer. Milo already has the hang of sit, stay, down, over, and fetch. Something to look forward to, to be sure.
An update of my boarder Al: he was to come up with his rent money today. He wasn't home when I got up and hadn't arrived by the time I came to work. I'll see what is going on tomorrow but here is where things get difficult in that he is a friend of my stepson. If he has no money I don't want to be paying his way nor do I want to put him on the street....... what to do? Follow my conscience, I suppose.
When I come back to work tonight the bunch of us head off to my girlfriend Audrey's homegroup; it'll be good to see her as it's been a few weeks between visits. My producer / director friend is bringing a copy of her latest documentary for me to see because I missed it when it aired before Christmas. (I still didn't have cable then. Since I had it installed 6 weeks ago I think I've turned the TV on 3 or 4 times.)
Enough blather for tonight; I'm certainly in a better frame of mind compared to last night.
Tonight was a later start time for me as it was an in-house meeting so I laid in late this afternoon. By the time I had a couple of coffees into me Lynda was off work and running hither and yon on a shopping run. I caught her on her cell and invited her over for dinner so we had a few hours together before coming to work. The menu - baked pork chops, scallopped potatoes, fresh veggies; Shiraz for Lynda, blueberry juice for me. We hadn't had many opportunities to talk much this week so we caught each other up on all the details. Besides more talk about how our reunion will happen the big news is that it looks like we're soon going to have a new pet. In addition to our dog Freedom and cats Liberty and Buddy we can look forward to Milo - a Jack Russell / Pug mix who is 13 weeks old. Milo is currently in the care of the daughter of one of Lynda's workmates; she is a vet's assistant and trainer. Milo already has the hang of sit, stay, down, over, and fetch. Something to look forward to, to be sure.
An update of my boarder Al: he was to come up with his rent money today. He wasn't home when I got up and hadn't arrived by the time I came to work. I'll see what is going on tomorrow but here is where things get difficult in that he is a friend of my stepson. If he has no money I don't want to be paying his way nor do I want to put him on the street....... what to do? Follow my conscience, I suppose.
When I come back to work tonight the bunch of us head off to my girlfriend Audrey's homegroup; it'll be good to see her as it's been a few weeks between visits. My producer / director friend is bringing a copy of her latest documentary for me to see because I missed it when it aired before Christmas. (I still didn't have cable then. Since I had it installed 6 weeks ago I think I've turned the TV on 3 or 4 times.)
Enough blather for tonight; I'm certainly in a better frame of mind compared to last night.
posted by Norm at 2/09/2008 02:47:00 AM
2 Comments:
Glad to hear your frame of mind is better.
I know from experience that being physically unwell for a longer than usual period of time (let's say more than a week or two) is draining on all levels. Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It sucks the life right out of you.
So, be kind and gentle with yourself, Norm. You deserve it.
These were the sorts of times in early sobriety when I felt I was in greatest danger of picking up a drink (or 10, 15, 20). When my ongoing physical reality wasn't good I knew how and where I could find temporary respite. I'd still be sick but wouldn't care so much. Dumb but it works in a twisted sort of way.
But yes, you're right it is draining on all levels hence that post of the other night. Thankfully I just feel rough & worn out and I'm not in chronic pain.
During the day today my schedule was turned upside down so it looks like I may have time to be kind to myself sometime late Wednesday. (Lord willing that I last that long.)
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