Lollygagging

(Warning - This is a ramble.)

There's a word you don't hear every day. But that's how I would describe last night here at work. A chance glimpse of a snippet of lyric in someone's blog post sent me off on hours of YouTube-ing; tracking down tracks, following trails to other singers and acts... a little journey down memory lane. Backtracking tonight to the original post I find the person was referring to a different song but 'what the hey', it made for a good diversion. Just a small difference between John Prine and 'Presidents of the United States of America'. For anyone that cares the same words are contained in a song by PotUSoA and Prine's 'Spanish Pipedream'.

Thing is here at work - once my actual work is done and if the clients and phones are quiet - I've got a ton of time on my hands. There are cycles I go through where for a time I'm alright to read and it doesn't bother me. Then for long stretches there is no way I can read on the job - it'll put me to sleep in no time... and that is verboten. Every once in a great long while I'll watch a movie but that is only if the house population is way down and everyone is in good shape. Otherwise I feel cut-off from the 'pulse' of the house and preoccupied where I oughtn't be. Hence, lots of time at the computer... it does keep me occupied.

Lately I've considered junking this blog and it's for a variety of reasons. There is one prime one that I won't go into but one of the lesser ones is that it eats a lot of time that I think could be put to better use. While I don't consider myself to be a writer I do like to think that aspiration is within reason. That with some serious application to the craft of writing I could eventually get good enough at it to lay claim to that title. I'd also like to re-apply myself once again to drawing and painting... and for that desire I'd have to give credit to all that I see about me on the blogs. I can remember clearly the enjoyment I used to get from artistic expression and creation. Of course, the next step is kick starting myself from anticipation / contemplation to action.

One story I like to tell would be a fictionalized biopic of 'Connie', the wife of a guy who just completed our program. See, Connie survived, in a physical sense, a misdiagnosed terminal illness and the treatment thereof. But mentally she never did recover and essentially resigned from living out her re found life. 15 years of occupying space with a heart beat and little else. The trickle down repercussions are incredible, complex and bewildering. I'd like to get her view on these last 20 years and see how it compares with that of her husband.

In a re-approach to art work I can think of a few different avenues right off the top of my head. First, I would start with simple colour choices, line and shape and work from abstract to representational and back again. Play with it in order to free up my mind and hand. Second, I would go back to still-life drawing with an almost 'drafting-like' approach in order to get my eye and hand in synch so that I can once again accurately represent what it is I see. Third, I'd go back to india ink sketches and watercolour washes to see where that would take me. Next, I'd 'construct' - come up with a premise, some idea and explore it and let it evolve into a project I could build using a variety of materials.

Lofty ideas.... when does the rubber hit the road??

Doh!! Bad Surprise!!

Tonight I thought I'd have some fun but the situation backfired on me. Can you smell cordite?? Here's the skinny.

About a month ago I came across the blog of a guy who writes a music column for the local paper. It's cross-linked with the newspaper's web-site so you have access to all his writing, both columns and blog. On that occasion I gently gave him the gears about the quality of his writing and gave a few suggestions about how he could improve it, thereby attracting more readers through quality reporting and reviewing. (advice which I should also be following, btw - I don't pretend to be good at writing) The comment went to moderation but did appear a day or two later and he took me to task for leaving an anonymous comment but saying he would follow-up and seek to improve.

Earlier tonight I wound up back on the site and decided to wade through his output for the last few weeks. Guess what?? He had one post, just one, that was well written, a few that weren't bad but most were pretty awful. So, off I go and make a few more pointed, blatantly critical comments which may have got a bit personal. (I should have left out that comment about his mother.) There was some constructive, informative stuff in there, too though. All in all it came off sort of snarky. Anyway.... Hit the 'publish' button and **blink**, it went directly to the post!! NO MODERATION!! Shit! Double Shit!! Joke is on me...... groan.

I hastily wrote another comment; a note of apology saying I expected it to be for 'his eyes only' or for it to be moderated and asking that it be deleted.

Bad, BAD man. That'll learn me to keep my big mouth shut. (Not likely.)

You shouldn't put stuff out there for public consumption if it isn't up to snuff.

Getting Sentimental

(and sometimes just plain mental)

No, really now... browsing through the site meter on occasion during these last couple of weeks it's nice to see certain people continue to check in here on a regular basis. Great to have some new readers and friends, too. Some regulars from early days have begun to come back as well; nice to see. You all know who you are....

Probably the best thing about having begun to blog a couple of years ago is making some friends along the way. What you share on your sites expands my world, stimulates my mind and touches me. Whether it is personal stories or fiction, music, art or photography, or an appreciation of the written word I appreciate your talents and your ability to convey it so well. I also appreciate it when you care to comment on what you see here. The more the merrier, I say.

Things are getting quiet in blogland with the holiday season kicking into high gear. If you are celebrating the season with Hanukkah or Christmas I want to wish you peace and joy and good times with family and friends. I'll be around when you stop by here with some new tale to tell.

Flip-Flop

Ever have an entire post written, re-read it and then drive the editing stake right through it's heart.... killing it dead and hitting the delete button. Just because you didn't like the tone of it?? I just did.

This has been a very strange day for me mood-wise. Started off well and happy, got a little tense, swung down, talked a couple of things out, lightened up.... now I'm dithering about with a sense of foreboding hanging in the air. Odd.

In the past I've found it easy to get caught up in 'big world' issues and allowed myself to be negatively affected by them. Today, briefly, the same thing happened after watching the evening news - gold prices down, fuel prices up, shortages of food, recession in the offing, big layoff locally at GM, politicians mouthing platitudes.......what's going on? where is all this leading? what does the future hold?

I need to do my best imitation of a turtle for awhile in regard to all 'that stuff' if I want to keep a semblance of sanity. Stay away from mainstream media. My circle of influence sometimes extends as far as my line of sight but is usually restricted to arms reach or the range of my voice. The future will be whatever it will be; I need to concentrate on enjoying *now*. I get to choose how I perceive my world; sometimes I need to remind myself of that fact.