Bad Blogger

Yep... that's me. I've been awol for a few days. See, in the past when bad news has been laid on the door step I've had a bad tendency to get wound up in it and promptly spew whatever it is here. I am improving somewhat...... in that I'm learning to let the initial shock of it wash over and through me before letting loose.

Despite taking some positive steps to get our various houses in order, life just keeps on happening and the happenings aren't of the 'good' variety. The latest blow happened Friday afternoon and Lynda had called me from work to clue me in on what was up. By the end of the conversation she was breaking up crying into the phone and I was sitting stunned and shaken.

Afterward while rummaging in the fridge looking for something to eat I noticed that once again we had no wine in the house. Like good husbands everywhere I jumped in the car to go get her some. Didn't miss my cue this time..... so, when she got home I poured her a glass and we talked out how we're going to handle this situation. Pick ourselves up and continue to muddle through as best we can - we have no choice really.

On a more positive note - We took the day Saturday to drive up to Lynda's mother's place for a long overdue visit. Driving was bad on the way there because of a snow storm but getting home was no problem. We had a few hours with her Mom and also had a visit with a couple of her brothers.

I haven't had a chance to get into the music and reading from the library but I rented a few movies and we watched a couple of them. 'Gone Baby Gone' was a decent story, well acted and produced. Not for the faint of heart though - there's a fair bit of violence and bad language. The other was the Coen brothers 'No Country For Old Men'. Maybe I need to watch it again but although I liked parts of it, it didn't sustain interest or hang together very well overall. Really don't understand how it earned a 'best picture' Oscar. The final 15 minutes had both Lynda and I going, 'WTF?!?' Tomorrow night I might watch the third one - 'I'm Not There' - 6 actors portrayals that provide a biopic of Bob Dylan. (I'm definitely on a Dylan kick, aren't I?)

The last 36 hours has seen a huge arctic air mass pushing in from the north and west bringing sharply colder temps. Tonight it's down to about -15C so I'm layered up like crazy and still having a hard time shaking the chill. Thankfully there is no wind to add a windchill factor to the equation. C'mon April!!!!!

The Horror

Careful - you could find this upsetting. Don't read on if you think you might be.

A little background...... When Lynda and I split up early last year - February, I think she lowered the boom - we continued living under the same roof until I was able to move, in July, to the townhouse I bought. That interim period was difficult to say the least but we managed to make it work for the most part pretty successfully. Once I moved I gradually got to know my immediate neighbours and spent some time with them; had a nodding acquaintance with many others in the development. Saw all the usual comings and goings; got to know various people's connection to one another and their schedules. During our time apart we weren't really on our own much and chose to spend most of our free time together either at the house or my place. Eventually we reconciled our differences and I moved back home at the beginning of May this year. When I moved back Lynda's youngest son moved from the house over to the townhouse and set up housekeeping there. Close enough to be handy; distant enough for some separation - like 5 kilometers worth.

Fast forward to today - Just as Lynda and I began to eat dinner we got a call from her son - Moose, as he is affectionately known. 'Can I call you back? We're just eating.' "No - you're going to want to hear this." Looking out the front living room window he had seen a guy sitting on the curb with blood gushing from his neck, soaking him, when a police car came screeching in; sirens screaming; lights flashing. One officer attended to the guy; the other approached the nearest entrance following the blood trail. He is confronted by a guy wielding a knife and is stabbed; draws his gun, warns him to drop the weapon and then shoots him. More police arrive followed by fire trucks and ambulances. Inside they find 2 more men injured, a woman dead plus two children gravely injured. We continued to get periodic updates from Moose throughout the evening and at the height of the episode there were 5 ambulances, 3 fire trucks and 20 police cars. All driveways were taped off and blocked; returning residents were made to park at adjoining properties and escorted to their homes. Apparently now they are down to 5 police cars and 2 forensic vehicles - a 10 ton truck and a Winnebago. It was the lead item on the news at 11. The man wielding the knife was shot dead. The occasion was a family birthday party.

So, enough reportage. While I don't know any of these people involved I am, on an emotional level, completely aghast and appalled; shaken and sorrowed. Things like this are reported all the time and I suppose for myself the 'distance' factor comes into play. Oh, it's in that city down the road or across the continent, or that neighbourhood over there that we've passed through from time to time. A comfort cushion that removes it a comfortable distance away so it doesn't affect me to the same extent. But this incident happened 60 feet from my old front door. 60 feet - my door!! I've seen these folks going about their lives on a daily basis - they've seen me coming and going about my business. Now 2 of them are dead, 2 other adults seriously injured and the children - 3 and 5 years old - stabbed and fighting for their lives. Oh... the children... scarred for life if they make it. Physically , mentally and emotionally. Lord hear my prayers. They were airlifted into Toronto for the best possible care, thankfully.

I don't want to let my mind venture into what happened within that home during those critical minutes - such insanity; such horror; much sorrow. But venture it will, I'm sure.

Homicide - a nice, neat word for bloody murder.

http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_29629.aspx

Screeching Halt....

......the inevitable has happened without warning.

The counsellor that I was relieving had his licence re-instated yesterday and appeared out of the blue at work this morning to see when his next scheduled shift would be. Suddenly he is back in the rotation next Monday; I'm at loose ends. Thankfully I managed to handle the day with a modicum of grace.

I have the option of returning to nightwalk or looking elsewhere. The last hour has been spent surfing all the usual job sites and tomorrow will be spent hitting on my contacts.

I'm off to a meeting in hopes of hearing something I need to hear today.

One door closes; another opens.

Periodical Posting

Where this blog relates to publishing..... well it isn't a daily; certainly isn't a serial and I hope it never becomes a soap. It's just going to have to fit somewhere along the pace of life...periodically.
It's been a very hectic, off balance, sometimes frustrating, occassionally rewarding and painful stretch for the last month or so.

The only highlights in the last week have been some good time spent with Lynda, getting to a meeting with a new sponsee (and getting to know him a bit better), and helping another sponsee with some step work. And we heard a wonderful speaker at tonights meeting who had a very powerful message of recovery - a very engaging young gal who attained one year sobriety yesterday.

My heart sank when Sarah called Friday morning to say that Shorty had suffered a stroke on Thursday morning. Her Mom and Russ had flown in from Calgary Thursday night; Sarah arrived from Vancouver Friday morning. Lynda and I joined the rest of the family at the hospital for the balance of the day Friday but it was clear that there was no hope for recovery. We carried on over the weekend with our work about the house but our hearts weren't really in it - our minds were elsewhere. My friend and work mate John has offered to cover my shifts on an 'as needed' basis this week; for that I'm grateful. Relief of that worry!

So I'll continue to write when I can; it just won't be as often as I'd like. Next time something more cheerful - honest.