Lost Friend

Every Friday night we have an in-house meeting and there is a small core group of alumni who show up every week for it. Rain or shine, holiday weekend or not these fellows are here; for their own benefit and for the good of the guys going through treatment.

On arriving in time for the meeting tonight I was shocked and saddened to hear one of them had died today. 6 weeks ago David was a vital 69 year old gentleman brimming with energy and good cheer. Last time I saw him a couple of weeks before Christmas he mentioned he was feeling off and intended to get checked out by his doctor. At first look it didn't seem to be serious but his condition worsened rapidly and he spent Christmas in hospital undergoing a battery of tests. The diagnosis was pancreatic cancer. His deterioration was incredibly rapid. Now, just a couple of weeks later he is suddenly gone.

David went through treatment here a little over 3 years ago shortly after I started to work here. He really invested himself in his stay here and jumped into A.A. life following treatment. He and his family were enjoying his recovering life. He always showed up at least an hour before these Friday night meetings and we've enjoyed many talks. I'm finding it difficult to believe he's dead and we'll never have another of those talks.

I checked the local paper's online obit page and it is posted already. I know where I'll be Sunday afternoon. Paying tribute to a friend.

Tender Heart

There is an older gent who went through treatment just around the time I started working here. Let's call him John. Following Tx he joined my home group and we got to be quite good friends. We would see one another at various area meetings and he'd attend alumni meetings here at 'the house'. Last fall he decided in part because of age and health concerns that he would no longer attend meetings. John and I last talked during the Xmas holidays and he spoke with excitement about a reunion with his two sons who were going to pay a visit from out west.

Last week I ran into John's wife in a grocery store. She related how John's oldest son had taken in a friend who had lost everything and everyone that mattered in his life. The friend had become addicted to crack and needed a place to stay while he put his life back in order. The offer of a room was time limited and when his time was up he refused to leave. John's son was on his way to get assistance to remove the friend from his apartment when he was shot. He died in transit to hospital.

As she spoke I was stunned into silence, my throat closed and tears stood in my eyes. They are steeling themselves for the trip to attend the friends trial. I called and spoke to John on the weekend; we meet for coffee and a talk later today.

Wool-gathering

Here it is, the wee small hours of Friday morning, back at work. I didn't work Tues or Wed nights so as to attend Shorty's funeral Wednesday afternoon. As funerals go this was a good one and aptly so - he was well loved. The clergy did a good job with a thought provoking talk about life and loss, celebrating a life while grieving. Five people gave brief eulogies including my daughter Sarah. If I'd tried doing that at her age (25) I'd have been a puddle. (good job!)

Still sorting out impressions of people who were there; a few I've seen fairly recently, most I hadn't seen for 15 to 20 years. Among them were high school friends and old room-mates. Time and circumstance have been much kinder to some than others. A motley crew raves on.

Following the ceremony and reception Lynda and I took Sarah to collect her things and had a quick dinner at an Indian restaurant in north Toronto. Sarah is vegan, Lynda is omniverous and I'm a carnivore - we were all happy. Great breads, spicy sauces, tender veggies and meats. We then dashed to the west end to drop Sarah at the airport for her flight home to Vancouver. She was to repack, get some rest and fly off to Hawaii with her new fiance Daniel for a week.

Yes, I didn't blog about that before - I wanted to talk to Sarah a bit more about her engagement before writing about it. Over dinner we heard about their early plans for the wedding. Then she pulled out her cell, rang him up and handed me the phone for a quicky introduction. What can I say? He sounds like he truly loves her ... she's happy and obviously loves him ... good enough for me!!

Tonight we meet up with my son Russ for dinner and a chat before he leaves town Saturday morning for Calgary. He thinks he can drive it in 3 days - I think he's pushing it. 1 day to Wawa, another to the Manitoba border and another straight across the prairies to Calgary. I dunno; it's an awful lot for someone who isn't used to driving much. That's what young people do though, isn't it? Push their limits to find out what they're capable of. Anyway, I'm looking forward to having some time with him - it doesn't happen often enough.

Work has been fairly quiet tonight with just a few restless souls getting up for a drink or a smoke; walking off the effects of bad dreams; having a quick talk with me. They sure aren't lingering outside - the weather has turned cold and wintery. Snow in the forecast - oh joy!!

Actually one of my occassional favourite winter moments is to pick a windless night when it's snowing, take a flashlight outside and point it straight up, tilt my head back and watch the snowflakes fall randomly about me in absolute silence. Mesmerizing; I could do it for hours if it isn't too cold. The visual is so strong that.. it's...difficult....to.....think.......a........complete.........thought.
Imagine that...............................bye.