Scatterings....

...a bit of this, a little of that.....

A wonky week is about over, as is my work week in a few hours. My week of night shift and Lynda being on afternoons has meant that we haven't laid eyes on one another since she left for work Monday after lunch. (Well, except if you count when I'm climbing into bed around 6 a.m., she pries open one eyelid and asks if I let the dogs out or not.)

Later on today she is to wake me and we have a couple of hours work to get done and behind us. I hope the AC is cranked cuz it's supposed to be a muggy one.

Lynda is back on her regular day shifts for the week and I have no work scheduled -- call-in shifts are a possibility. We're looking forward to our national holiday on Tuesday - Canada Day. I've checked the papers to see what sort of celebrations are planned in the communities around us here. There are some good bands playing and a number of firework displays scheduled. Nothing like lying on a blanket together on a hillside in the dark and gazing up at the exploding coloured showers. Oooooohhh!! Aaaaahhh!! See THAT one?? Tres cool!!

Yeah! June 29th..... half the year is over already. In six months time Christmas will be over; incredible.

Oh yeah - I meant to begin this post with *this* - 'Namaste'. I had seen it before but didn't know what it meant (I think it was on Solbeam's blog) so I did a quick search - here is a little info and definition.
Namaste is a common spoken greeting or salutation in the Indian subcontinent. When spoken to another person, it is commonly accompanied by a slight bow made with hands pressed together, palms touching and fingers pointed upwards, in front of the chest. The gesture can also be performed wordlessly and carry the same meaning.
"That which is of the Divine in me greets that which is of the Divine in you."
In recent times, and more globally, the term "namaste" has come to be especially associated with yoga and spiritual meditation all over the world.
Credit - Wikipedia
The woman who spoke at our meeting this evening began her talk with this greeting. I like it when our guys get to hear a strong message of recovery from a woman - they get to connect the dots and become aware that we are all prey to the same sorts of fears, pain, upset and anger. Those are shared experiences - across gender - and we can enjoy the same benefits in recovery that she described as well. She is also a member of the professional medical community so she was able to share some of that valuable perspective.

I've spent a great deal of time this week roaming the blogs - reading a ton, commenting not-at-all, passing on snippets of related material or asking direct questions about things that twig my interest or that aren't quite clear. ???? A little help here ??? There is one blog I saw a few months ago written by an EMS worker in Britain and I've been unable to track it down again. He writes about cases he sees in his work. If it sounds familiar, let me know please.

My CV needs to be reworked at home this week as I have a line on a couple of jobs. That's a 'good news - bad news' situation; my computer will have to be hooked up (finally) but, where to put it? That would allow me to download the pics of my trip and Little Zeph tho...... hmmm.

There have been a couple of small disappointments AND joys this week. A planned meeting with one of my sponsees didn't come together even though he is a hurting unit these days and needs to talk. Co-dependant. Under the 'happy accident' banner - I ran into my friend and neighbour from the townhouse, Terry and we had a solid 45 minute yack over coffee. Good for me; good for him. And, incredibly, I was asked for HELP by one of my stepsons regarding a personal problem!!! So, I helped him..... amazing......

What else; 100+ days smoke free now.... probably 110. 3 1/2 months. It's strange but I've had more and stronger urges to pick up this past week than at any time since I quit. Go figure. Within a month I will have 5 years sober - another freakin' miracle. No really, as time goes by it gets to be less and less about substance. If I can recover, anyone can. My old friend Audrey was at tonight's meeting; she celebrates 51 years sober in a couple of weeks (and didn't get sober until she was 38... you do the math.)

Time for a walk about the place and a bite to eat. I might be back .... or not.

Courtesy of.....

.......cousin BJ and the Dalai Lama, no less.

BJ wrote to say she had checked in and seen my posts about the trip west; here is what she had to say:

I thought about you when I read the Dalai yesterday - you had expressed concern about affordability and going out west and decided to go with it and what he wrote just made me feel that his words confirmed what you did....good one to leave us with over the summer I think "time never waits but keeps flowing. Not only does time flow unhindered, but correspondingly our lives too keep moving onward all the time." He cited this as the reason that second chance is really just an expression - it's the first chance always that you need to take advantage of since you won't pass that way, the same way again.......good stuff huh?

Good stuff indeed - he's too great and learned for me to argue with. Thanks for sharing and also for the validation. Another friend shared that it is better to perhaps regret things done instead of left undone. I agree with that perspective as well.

Lazy B*stard....

For no particular reason really, having a difficult time focusing this week. Maybe the time shift from the west coast and being back on nights after a break of a few weeks. Ah well - who knows?? Not overly important anyway.

Last night I spent catching up on friend's blog posts and following links; being wowed here, laughing my butt off there. Trying not to let work intrude upon following my nose about the blogs. ha, ha, ha. Thanks Am, for your visit and comments.

There is lots going on here at work, a real mixture of both good and bad. On one hand I'm going to email my boss asking for clarification of some news and offering my services next week to help out. On the other hand, I spent the last hour searching for jobs on-line (here and Vancouver). Note to self - update that CV. The house population has taken a slight dip and a couple of problem clients have completed their stays and left, T.G.

Mom emailed and phoned earlier today to see whether or not I had returned home from my trip. Sorry Ma, I'm playing catch up here and should have called. I had to split cutting the lawn over two days in order to retame it. A little rain, a little sun..... it's a jungle out there.

I'll share something here that my daughter Sarah sent along which welcomed me home. It's about the paradoxes inherent in what we ask for and what we receive. (I don't know who wrote it so I can't give proper credit.)

I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brain to work.
I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for patience God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.
I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for favors and God gave me opportunities.
I asked for everything so I could enjoy life. Instead, He gave me life so I could enjoy everything.
I received nothing I wanted I received everything I needed.
My prayer has been answered.

Cheers.

First Night Back

... back on the job, that is. I flew back into town Sunday afternoon and evening; then got held up deplaning as paramedics tended to one passenger who wasn't well. Short wait for luggage, got'em, outa here.... A relatively quick drive across the top of Toronto and out to the 'Shwaah had me in the driveway by 9.

A thorough check-in of all the news with Lynda as she scanned through all my pictures - not enough of Zeph (they're practically all of Zeph!), only a couple of Sarah, NONE of Daniel - whoops! Ah well; we don't change much after 25, do we? Anyway, I will try to post a picture or two of Zeph sometime soon. In the meantime, picture the Gerber baby and you pretty much have him. (No bias here.)

He spent a good deal of time, (periodically,) trying to figure out what my beard is all about and then trying to remove it from my face. Lord, he is strong!!! I bear the scars that prove it. His other big thing is puckering up and blowing hard enough to move things with his breath - curtains, dreamcatchers, chimes, whatever...... I freaked him out when I pointed at a light, blew at it and flicked it off; made him do a double-take. 'Wow, Pops - how'd you do that?' Eyes like saucers, they were.

Vancouver itself?? A beautiful city. The local economy seems to still be booming in preparation for the Olympics; lots of construction, lots of dough $$$$$. Most of the people I met and talked with were AA folks so ready acceptance, no barriers, very open and welcoming. I met more of Sarah & Daniel's family & friends this trip, too.

I found the weather a bit cool and damp (the first couple of days) but... if you don't like it presently, just wait half an hour and it will be different, for sure. Nice to look down the lane and have mountains in view, I have to say. There is a different quality to the light there that is hard to explain - sharper, contrastier, refracts and reflects and bounces a lot. The west coast time shift is pretty cool - you can watch Letterman at 8:30 fergawdsakes; gotta like that if you want to be up early.

Time to pack it up here. Meant to say - hi to BJ - I saw you stopped by. Later...

Chillin' in Vancity

The trip is good; it's good to re-connect with Sarah, Daniel and especially Zeph. He's a bright, happy, healthy 10 1/2 month old boy who is active and into everything. I arrived Wednesday afternoon and he had just cut a third tooth in that 24 hours - a little cranky but understandably so.

Yeah, I was getting real antsy on the way to the airport thinking I might miss my flight because of a big wreck on the highway and the resulting backup. Made it to the airport to find my flight had been delayed by an hour. Whew!!!! Yeah Baby!! The flight was uneventful - (just as I like them) - I split my time between reading and gawking out the window. I think I missed my calling; shoulda been a pilot. I never tire of watching the transformations and features of the land we fly over. Fascinating.

Yesterday I went into the city on my own by bus to wander around awhile and also to take in an AA meeting. (I always try to preplan when and where they are to be found before even leaving home.) I had hoped to run into one of our alumni there but we had our signals crossed. Sarah followed me into town with Zeph in tow and we set off to tour a touristy area called Granville Island. It is a market - all sorts of produce, meats, fish; and there are a variety of shops and galleries and working artists and artisans. I bought a replacement quartz pendant for the one I'd purchased there last year and subsequently broken.

Between the walking I had done on my own, then together with Sarah, my legs were burnt out and hurting. Vancouver is a hilly place!! We bused it back to the house and I sent them out for a late dinner so I could lie down for a rest. Lately I've been trying to pamper my back as it has been very sore and bothering me quite a lot. Apparently that is the wrong thing to do; I need to take a page from Robin's book and get active. That walking should have been therapeutic but it highlighted the extent of the problem instead. That goes onto the 'to-do' list.....

Lynda and I have kept in touch via email on a regular basis and had a phone conversation earlier on today. She's keeping herself busier than a one-armed paperhanger; everywhere, all the time....going, going, going.

The plan for today is to attend a baseball game - Pacific league triple A? - not sure; have dinner together, and then Sarah is planning to accompany me to another meeting. This one didn't seem as easy to find so I will have my guide... not to get lost.

I've scanned a couple of blogfriend's latest posts but I'm certainly not up on things like I ought to be. Liked the blogcast Am; nice pickings from the garden Robin!

Gotta go.... batter up!

Vancouver Or Bust...

There are all sorts of common sense, practical reasons why I shouldn t go to Vancouver. #1 among them is financial - I can t afford to go, simply put. (Not to cry poor but thats the truth.) The one reason that trumps everything else is I miss my daughter and her wee family.

So, I am going.

This trip was arranged months ago, flights booked for Lynda, Mom and I. We were going to attend their wedding which was scheduled for this Saturday. Just after the bookings were made the event was cancelled..... but I never cancelled the flights. Lynda has the time off but she is staying put here on the home front.

I have a ton of things to do between now and flight time Wednesday morning so take care, be well & have fun... Zeph - here comes Papa. Woo-Hoo!!

Oooooo... Friday the thirteenth

Very scary stuff.

Today is a down day for me - no work. So that means it is work around the house day and catch up on what needs doing. I was off work yesterday and on the way home by 10 a.m.; snoozed until 1 and was back up cutting grass until dinnertime. One of Lyndas brothers showed up for dinner and the evening - he kept us entertained. Scoot has been working in town for a couple of weeks but finishes the job today.

There are a couple of people out there who I regularily keep in touch with and check in on - mea culpa - I really havent had a chance to do that lately. BJ - drop me a line and I will reciprocate. Hmmm.... Robin, JPW... what is the latest news ......

It is time to check a few friends blogs and then get a start on dinner. B-b-q anyone...

Brand New Week.....

Summer arrived with a thud, some incredibly hot & humid weather..... and all the attendant summery things happening. Not a lot of time here so use your imagination.

Off to work for another few days so I will post if I can. Everyday walking in there I can expect another change to take place regarding my schedule. I try to roll with it using a modicum of good-naturedness, keeping my curses to a guttural ululation.....smile, smile, SMILE!

Lynda and I are okay & keeping busy. This was the first full weekend we spent together for innumerable months - good times.

Time for work - today I meet our new Director of Operations.

Tid-Bits and Bat Bites

Last night I caught a music show (meant to google it before writing, oh well, that is what edit is for) for the release of an album by Bryan Ferry (of Roxy Music fame) covering all Bob Dylan tracks - Dylanesque. Most of the songs were from early in Bobs career - mid 60s, early 70s - and a couple of more current ones. I can usually take Mr Ferry in small doses but I was pleasantly surprised with his efforts here. The music was well arranged and he had a killer backup band who were able to flesh out Dylans music in a beautifully understated sort of way. Something else for me to track down... never ending.

That show lead into a bio program about Ozzy Osborne which did a creditable job - hitting the highlights and recalling some of his and Black Sabbaths hits. Not enough songs but..... it was good to hear Crazy Train again. My brother and I were fans way back when they released their first couple of albums. Actually I had forgotten some of the show biz pranks and media hype surrounding Ozzy - like the bat fiasco. I just wish he could learn to speak English like a normal human being, poor bugger.

Back on the weekend sometime Lynda and I watched a movie that I will have to rewatch; its called The Departed. With Matt Damon & Leonardo. Good story line, well acted.... but any time a movie is about undercover stuff and doublecrosses I inevitably lose the thread of the story in all the details of the scam. Like I said - it is a rewatch situation for me. If you see it; PAY CLOSE ATTENTION right from the beginning.

Playing Catch Up...

Geez - past, present, future.... at work and away.

Past - The last couple of days have been a blur getting used to daytime sorts of things again - always throws me off rearranging my schedule to so-called normal. Lots of mundane running around town and work on the home front.

Present - Good news!! My boss acted on my suggestion and is putting me into the daytime rotation once again to fill in for a counsellor who will be off for a while. An indeterminate amount of time. Woo-Hoo!! Hallelujah!!

Future - That work starts tomorrow and it is the shortest of the rotations - just Thursday and Friday - and then the usual 3 day rotation next week, mid-week.

Affirmation & Recognition

First, please read this:

http://bountifulhealing.wordpress.com/2008/05/30/seeds-and-seedlings/

Second, I didn't have a chance to ask Robin's permission to link this so, thanks in advance - hope you don't mind - I'll take it back down if you want..... and as always; great photo, terrific quotes, thanks for sharing the story Robin.

But mainly... such a great idea. One that is SO worth sharing and passing on. It makes me wish I owned more property though......

On a much smaller scale and in a roundabout way.... it has been a family tradition to plant a tree as a commemoration whenever we lose a family member (or even a pet). So, what all this is causing me to think of is I should take Lynda tree shopping to mark us being back together - a positive, life affirming celebratory planting ceremony. Hmmm....