Downtime??

Hah!!!

These weeks off are something else. I'd blog more often but my time is taken up doing all the things that have built up that I shoulda, woulda, coulda done through last week but..... wasn't able to.

Sunday is a brain dead day; doing as little as possible and getting some rest. Monday is forcing myself up early and beginning to tackle the to-do list. Yesterday flew and it is Wednesday already - amazing. Mostly I'm in and out of the house every few hours on account of the dogs - don't want them cooped up for too long.

Besides checking on-line for new job postings I haven't spent much time at the computer. A few checks here and there on blog friends but not much nor often. I have heard from a few - talked with JPW a few nights ago and caught up on some news. Emails from BJ and a couple of blog friends. Get well soon Martin - harsh luck.

As to things at work; 'the house'. Now that we have complied with clearing the house we've been instructed and allowed to build up the client resident population again. Geniuses, I tell ya. I work a day shift tomorrow and one of those 26 hours sleep over shifts Friday into Saturday morning. The back to my regular series of 7 night shifts come Sunday night. Woo-Hoo!!!!

Yesterday I had to break off clearing up the last of the leaves because a band of snow showers came through so heavily I had to quit. Now I have a couple of hours to devote to cleaning up the rest of them - that should do it for this year. Off again.....

Twas a Dark and Stormy Night

We've had a large storm sweeping through with 36+ hours of non-stop rain. Last night was quite mild at around 12 degC. Tonight as I was leaving home to come to work the temperature was beginning to drop like a rock due to a brisk north wind. Now it's 2 a.m. and I see the rain is mixed with sleet and snow. Southbound cars are covered with snow. Oy vey!!! It couldn't last, could it?? Here comes the long winter night. Geez, sure hope I have a snow brush and scraper in the trunk of the car.

It's a good night to be holed up where it's warm, some good tunes playing and a hot cuppa close at hand. (The tunes - Daniel Lanois 'Acadie'.)

Seeing as how there is very little actual work to do I came to work late after attending a local meeting, around 10, and plan to leave early at 5. I did up some paperwork for the week ahead so that the guy I share the job with won't have to struggle with it. Other than talking awhile with the on duty counsellor I prowled the house looking for things to do - straighten this out, fix that, clean the other. You know, idle hands and all that. Whatever needs doing.........

Actually I had a chance to write responses to two ads that were in the paper. One I have to drop off. The other needed to be faxed - is it bad form to fax a CV from your present place of employment? If so, too bad. It's already gone.

Today I have to be up early for an afternoon AA committee meeting and hope to find out more about the new position I was elected to. Monday morning is the big meeting here at work. (dun, DUN, dun, DUN, dun, DUN) Monday night I chair my home group meeting.

Sunday morning ...... winding down.

Choo Woo - Train of Thought

I took a couple of days away from blogging cuz my mind has been off the rails lately and I simply didn't feel like writing. There had been no news on the work front and there didn't seem to be much point in revisiting that whole situation if there was nothing new to say. My time has been full working around the house, applying for jobs, checking postings online and running around and between towns. I've been fortunate in that some blogmates have reached out with direct messages of hope and encouragement. Many thanks - I appreciate your care and will reply later tonight or tomorrow. Actually, if the time signatures are to be believed, my email accounts received 8 messages within a half hour from bloggers, my workmates and a couple of AA friends. Reading through them made my day. One of them was a reply from my former asst manager who was let go last week. We're keeping our eyes open for positions that might be of interest to one another.

I never did find any 'day' work last week; even registering with these temp agencies isn't straightforward anymore. On Saturday afternoon I went to a job fair for a major U.S. retailer that is expanding here - it was a cattle call; crowded beyond belief. (No Robin - not the Evil Empire.) There was a brief 'pre'interview where a guy reviewed my application. 'Hmmm.... You've been working at a treatment facility. THAT must be interesting.' I think he wanted to be the fly on the wall here for a few hours just to see. I'm supposed to get a call within a week and be told if there will be a call back for another interview.

Had a talk with daughter Sarah one night there and her crew is doing well. Zeph got through some major teething and has a mouthful of teeth to show for his discomfort. 6 new ones? Maybe 8. He looks too little to have so many anyway. He was out for his first Halloween as a spotted puppy dog - cute!

Driving in to work tonight the DJ on the radio was doing a themed show and tonight's first hour happened to be music to do with 'happiness'. As he was wrapping up some thoughts on the subject he mentioned as an afterthought that 'we all have a choice regarding whether we will be happy,.... or not.' Well, after having spent the better part of a week in a funk, happy sounded pretty damned good. I should resist the urge but what the hell.... 'Don't worry... be happy....'

I took in a couple of extra meetings last week - one Thursday night and another Saturday night - and I heard and saw a couple of things that I needed to. The speaker at the first one had some things to say about money - being rich and poor in recovery. Hmmm... timely. Personally I would automatically choose rich but that could also be dangerous, I suppose. At Saturday's meeting, just before it started, a guy I've known since I came to AA sat down beside me. He preceded me to 'the rooms' by a number of months and I run into him occasionally around town either at meetings, in coffee shops or while shopping. Good guy. At the end of the meeting when they present chips for varying lengths of sobriety he shocked me by getting up to receive a 'desire' chip. He had relapsed and it was his first meeting coming back from a 6 week binge. We got talking outside and he said it was the same old story - stop doing the 'do' things like talking with program people, stop attending meetings, let your program lapse, the tools get rusty, you start thinking you can manage one drink, and you get drunk. Thanks John. Your experience might save me from that same thing down the road somewhere.

Time for a break and a walkabout.

Dazed Days

Although we're enjoying a brilliant warm autumn day outside the weather between my ears isn't so good. Chuck full today with anxiety, fear and uncertainty. This too shall pass.....

In the meantime a shot of colour seems approriate. This shot is from our trip to Vancouver 13 or so months ago and if memory serves correctly Lynda took this one. We visited a few different gardens so I can't credit this one with any certainty.

I attended a meeting yesterday morning up at 'the residence' and things are still very much up in the air. Regular daytime staff have been assured of an income through until the end of the year. My status is yet to be determined in that regard. I might get pulled in with other staff to run day programming, or not. I know I'm supposed to work a shortened week next week into Friday morning. That is crunch day.

Lynda and I are talking out the various angles around these issues and mainly it's providing a way to vent and discharge the negative stuff but also brainstorm some creative solutions. Time to get back to working on some cover letters.....

What's Ahead??

The plan is to try and do the quicky shift switcheroo so I can get my days and nights flipped around to 'real' world hours. I'll have a much abbreviated sleep after I get off work in the morning so I can be back in bed early Sunday evening, back up and semi-functional Monday morning. I intend to report to a couple of temporary employment agencies to see if I can line up any sort of work for the balance of the week. The hope is that I can make a positive impression somewhere and get hired on a full time basis. At the very least I can make some contacts and get a line on who is hiring in the area.

There are a couple more CVs and cover letters to be sent out; a couple of follow up calls to make for others I sent out previously. One guy I know works for a printing firm and had mentioned the possibility of a CSR position opening up - gotta track him down and bend his ear. I used to work in print.

What else? The countdown is on for that Dylan concert here in town next week, the 12th. Woo-Hoo!! I'm glad I splurged for those tickets. Here's hoping he has a good night. Hmmm.... let's listen to some 'Modern Times', shall we? Get online and check some reviews and set lists.....

Lynda will be working her later shift this week so maybe I'll try to take in a couple of extra AA meetings - get out and see some friends.

I'm also looking forward to the American election Tuesday and to see what the result will be. (Plus it will FINALLY!! be over.) It has been a long, exhausting process. All rhetoric aside, in a political sense Obama fills the bill for me. McCain is too much of a hawk for me. And although expectations are that this will be a close race I do hope there is a clear winner.

Enjoy your week - I'll be back around when I'm able.

No Good News

Following todays work meeting I had a brief email from my boss and then got the full low-down from the duty counsellor I'm working with tonight once I got in to work. Apparently there were a lot of shrugs from the muckety-mucks where it comes to concrete information about whether we have to close or not, or when. The ball isn't in our court and it's a wait and see proposition; decision pending.... and then scramble.

So I've spent some time cruising the job postings on-line and not finding much of anything. It's given me some time to chill - I get angry when things get so disorganized and the people you depend on for answers don't have any. Then I get a little reactionary........ and have to resist the urge to spew here. Take a deep breath Norm.

Thanks to blog friends for distracting me with your words and pictures and music. Aaahhhh!! One more night and I can put this week to bed.

BTW - We had a perfect evening for the little ones to be out trick-or-treating. Mild with clear skies and a light breeze.

When I get back to work tonight I'll be working with my favourite weekend counsellor who is a music nut like me. He brings in his portable hard-drive and we listen to all his new stuff. Woo-Hoo!! Let the good times roll.

Happy Halloween

Here it is again - All Ghouls Day. What are you going out as?? I won't be able to tonight but in the past I've enjoyed dressing up to hand out candy to the kids who come to the door.

Anyway, after a couple of nights from hell here at work it's nice to have a quiet one tonight. A couple of posts ago I mentioned having a project underway...... because of how the last couple of nights went I haven't made much headway. Too many interruptions to accomplish much of anything.

On arriving here tonight there was some disquieting news that we may have to shut the centre down on a temporary basis for some renovations. There is a meeting in the morning with both our CEO and Director of Operations which is supposed to clarify the situation and provide us with some hard information. If that does happen it looks like our current crop of clients would be able to complete their stay; we won't be taking new admissions. If my work is suspended my bank account isn't going to like it at all, at all......... Maybe I should go check the on-line job ads again, ya think? Sounds like a plan to me. Bye.

What Else??

It's getting late and I'm feeling about as bright as a 3 watt light bulb so I'm just going to ramble.

On the drive in to work tonight I was thinking about how I'd been meaning to post about the programming revamp to CBC Radio2, what I would have to say about it, and how to say it. Actually I've been holding off because I was trying to be really openminded from the get-go back when they ushered this in back at the beginning of September. Largely it has been a huge disappointment, sorry to say. And I feel really sorry for my favourite on-air personality, Tom Allen, who does the morning drive show. He must look at his playlist some days and just shake his head wanting to cry. While there is some great music being played there is an awful lot that simply doesn't deserve airplay........ it's banal, it's mediocre, it's unappealing to the ear.

I tune in at all different times of day, listen to all the shows, classical, jazz, rock, roots, blues. They've also set up 4 new sub-channels that stream on-line and I've checked them out, too. I suppose what ticks me off is that they have a reputation for excellence and what they're offering up isn't cutting it. And besides, they're operating strictly from tax dollars so I want my moneys worth. More wheat, less chaff please.

On another note - that last gasp of indian summer seems to be over; driven out by a cold front yesterday that brought some rain. It's a cool, clear night tonight with temps around 4C. There might be a bit of frost on the windshield when I go to leave in the morning. The fall colour change is peaking around here, the leaves are falling and there are waves of birds passing through on their migrations.

Some bad news to share - insanity. I'll likely get a tongue lashing here from a couple of on-line amigos but I've broken my smoking quit. Yeah, about a week ago I was going through some stuff and picked up a smoke. Still at it, too. What I feel worse about is I haven't told Lynda as yet because I thought on a daily basis that I wouldn't smoke again. We've only seen each other after I've gotten up, cleaned up and she gets home from work. Shit. I guess tomorrow is crunch time - either tell her or stop. I'd vastly and simply prefer to stop. 7 months down the tubes. But still, that tells me I can do it; I just need to stick with it and get'er done. (Not thinking about drinking or drugging though. :-)

The two main pushes for next week are a) the job search and b) stowing my belongings and getting the house properly organized. I'll need to get some book cases, other sorts of display cases and a couple of dressers in order to have places to actually put things but we can't abide the mess anymore. There might be some things landing in the trash as well. I admit it - I'm a pack rat. When did I move back?? May?? I think so. Gotta get my sound system set up too - I miss my tunes. Hmmm... procrastination.... character defect.

Time to check on the moon and the stars.......

Afterthought - About an hour after all the clients had gone to bed one of them got up for a talk. We had a nice long leisurely one about his primary danger for relapse once he leaves treatment tomorrow - resentment. He had been betrayed by his best friend and he is struggling with how to get over the hurt inflicted on him and all the other emotions wrapped up in that. That and his desire for revenge. It felt good to hash that stuff out with him and offer some meaningful ways of dealing with it. Patience, prayer, and enduring progress not perfection. Keep the good memories; dispense the bad ones. What are the reasonable expectations? What is the best possible outcome for everyone? How long is he willing to carry the crappy feelings around, and at what cost to himself? to his sanity? He shook my hand, gave me a hug, wished me well and went to bed smiling.

A Real Quick One

I ain't dead yet; I've just been feeling rough which has prevented me from doing much of anything this past week. Managed to get it together just in time to come back to work. Very strange week tho! If you're enjoying good health, you are truly blessed.

So what's up??

*I'm still doing the night gig here but I've taken on a new area of responsibilty in order to help out and earn a few brownie points.

*I did get out for a while one day last week to apply for a job elsewhere. Closer to home, better pay, great benefits, a couple of people on staff that I know slightly.

*It's Canada! In winter!! It's incredibly cold!!! Not surprising but very 'in your face' -40 with the wind chill sort of cold. I broke down yesterday and got out 'Big Red', my down-filled coat. What a difference it makes. So much for style.

*Lynda and I have hit a rough spot; there are things being left unsaid so as to avoid a major blow-out. Cooler heads need to prevail - let some of the steam ease off before some sensible confrontation. Ever notice that men and women perceive the world and our relationships very differently?? Too true.

*Grandson Owen was out with his parents for the day Saturday and he continues to develop into a very bright and entertaining little character. He'll be 3 in a couple of weeks and we'll be headed off to his party.

*My quit date has passed and although my smoking is drastically reduced I continue to smoke. 10 a day is better than 30 to 40, but it certainly isn't as good as none.

*Last week I managed to get my camera and computer talking again (or was it before last week - it's a big blur to me now) so I'm really hoping to figure out how to start posting some pictures. Possibly this week. Don't hold your breathe tho.

That wasn't as quick as I was planning but I do carry on a bit now and then. There's some work to finish just now though. Later.