Wintery White

A few shots from last winter and this.

Late afternoon, low light, blue cast view of our yard, the neighbour's and the greenbelt.






Shooting into the sun and picking up a nice flare effect - the patio area and woods at my workplace.

Nice swooping line to snow overhanging the eaves outside our kitchen door.

Last winter while still living at the townhouse... the crab apple tree in my yard laden with fresh snow. Hmm... taken from a second floor bedroom by the look of it.

It'll be spring soon, I promise.

Shaken and Blurred

One thing about carrying a cell phone is that I'm glad to be able to get a visual record of things I happen to see, that make me go, 'ooo, gotta grab a shot of that.' Of course, on the downside is that in snatching a quick shot I don't often care a whole lot about what the quality of the final image will be when taking it. These, I bet, are all one-handed shots where I didn't think to try and steady myself while hitting the shutter button.... and I don't dislike the results.


Iridescent cellophane backer for bulletin boards ( and perhaps fancy wrapping paper).

My daughter's cat peering out a steamy kitchen window (Vancouver).

Rays of sunshine splayed across a pool table. One of my outings with young Arlo; the problem foster teen.

Swirling embers from a trash can bonfire on Canada Day '08.

I'm all for nice crisp, detailed photos but departures from the norm are okay by me, too.

DV8 From The Norm

(Stole that title from an ad in a home decorating magazine)

Bear with me - another test.

#1 was at the Dylan concert.
#2 is a local gallery interior space / atrium
#3 was taken at 'the house' were I work.

Oh Yeah... About Last Night

Heh, heh..... Geez, I got all excited and had to tell a few friends about it. You see, I have a really hard time finding ANYTHING on TV worth watching so... when I do, I feel I have to tell people.

Scrolling through the cable listings I came across one of those 'The Making Of' shows which happened to be about a CD that has spent an unreasonable amount of time in my car's player these last few weeks. It was one of those 'OMG..... Holy Crap!...... Hallelujah!!' moments.

So, Bryan Ferry (ex of Roxy Music fame) covers Bob Dylan on 'Dylanesque'. The sound used on the TV show was a rough studio mix and not the same as on the CD so I found some vocals and instruments standing out at times. This show is also available as a DVD release (which I just found on Amazon.) According to the credits Brian Eno provides some electronic 'atmospherics' but I didn't see him throughout. I did recognize the bass player as being the guy who recorded and toured with David Gilmour for the 'On An Island' release - Guy Pratt. Other back-up musicians include journeyman Robin Trower on guitar and an apparently VERY young, very talented Oliver Thompson also on guitar. (Ollie turns in some incredibly controlled slide work.) Ferry does a great job on vocals, harmonica and Farfisa organ.

While I've said some less than favorable things about Ferry (on a personal level) in the past he managed to change my mind with the short interview portions between songs. His public persona used to be based pretty much solely on 'image' with a capital 'I'... lots of glam with little seemingly to back it up. I was glad to hear he had a good deal of insightful things to say about Dylan, his music, it's writing and the times it was written in.

Here's a link to the portion of the show where they perform 'The Times They Are A'Changin' as well as a short interview segment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7xM1UpK0nE&feature=related

Cell Photos

On a shopping trip today I picked up a multi format card reader so I could upload and save my cell pictures to the computer. Here is a little test to see how they will display....


A high thin layer of cloud holds the colour of the setting sun while an underlayer of scattered cloud provides some contrast.

Before the sun had fully set it backlit these clouds highlighting the fluffy scalloped edges.

I managed to catch the swirl effect happening to these clouds when I thought a funnel cloud might drop at any time. Thankfully it didn't.

More to come later... ** they look about as good as they did on the screen on my cell. **

Music and Memory

Times when I most miss my father I search out some form of keyboard music, either piano or organ, and listening eases my feeling of loss and helps re-establish a sense of connection. We always had a piano in the house and later on into my teens Dad treated himself to an organ as well. It made for pretty cramped quarters as the house wasn't all that big.

Dad was a blue-collar guy who had his own sheet metal business and to relax at the end of a day he would often sit down and play for a half hour. In focusing on his music he could lose the cares of his work day. For quite a number of years he was also the organist at a couple of churches and sometimes choir director. He never thought much of his own playing abilities because he always compared himself to others of greater natural talent, technical ability and overall musical sensibility.... but it didn't stop him from putting himself out there.

A couple of years before he died, while my niece and her husband were living in Dubai, Dad recorded a 60 minute tape of himself playing selections from a songbook and talking to them. Following his death they were kind enough to make duplicates of the tape and give them out to the rest of the family. I pull it out once or twice a year to hear him enjoying himself, playing and to hear the sound of his voice once again.

I don't know that this piece would be to Dad's taste but I'm sure he would appreciate the composition of it, the mood it conveys and the talent of the woman playing it. It's what I was listening to tonight (along with other Philip Glass compositions).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imbwn6iVryQ

Cheers, Dad. Miss you.

Cloudy Guy

Last night I started scanning through the photos on my cell phone looking for a new screensaver and was, more or less, stunned to see I had over 130 shots on it. Many of them I had forgotten I'd taken. I began saving them over to the memory card and was surprised at all I found (cuz I don't really use it very often). Quite a variety and just a few that needed to be deleted. Very few with people in them - a couple of Lynda, a couple that had been taken of me with Owen or Zeph - my grandsons, one or two of my daughter Sarah during our visit to Vancouver or her visits here, one of the counsellors here clowning around.

There were a number of building shots and architectural details and landscape scenes. But the vast majority were shots of the sky and especially cloud formations. Stormy clouds, sunlit clouds, clouds at sunset and sunrise, clouds shot while driving, stacked clouds, high thin ones, lowdown and dirty ones, armadas of clouds sailing across the skies..... I came to the conclusion that I'm just a 'cloudy' guy. There must have been 70 of them taken over the last 2 years. I must get a USB cable connection for various sizes and types of storage media so I can download a few here - some of them are startlingly good. I'm constantly amazed at the clarity and vivid colour captured by such a dinky little lens.

Getting up today I was a different sort of cloudy guy - as in 'head in the clouds'. I had slept very soundly for a change and had great difficulty waking up and getting aware. Even with having been up for 4 hours before coming to work I really wasn't 100% with it and didn't feel like coming in. Concentrate - hah! Thoughts cascading like a blizzard of butterflies. I couldn't follow the path of any of them and gave up trying. Go with the flow Norm.......

What did wake me up was the half hour drive to work over snowy and icy roads. Yikes! Nothing like very real danger to kick your senses fully into gear. My mindset and mood improved once we made the bus trip to our meeting. Our driver has been sober for 15 years but hadn't ever joined a local group since relocating here from the west a number of years ago. I introduced her to one of the women I know well at that group and she wound up joining it. I nodded a hello at a guy I didn't recognize and we talked for a bit - it was his first ever meeting so I showed him some of the available literature and introduced him to some of the members. Paul was chairing the meeting and asked if I would come up and do the slogans so I got to take part. I rambled a bit but I can get carried away talking about recovery - I don't think anyone minded. The sister-in-law of one of our recent graduates came up to thank me after the meeting and promptly burst into tears; I can't recall ever getting that reaction before but there's always a first time, I suppose. The guy who spoke is a friend of mine from my first days in A.A. and his talk was brilliant - just what I needed to hear tonight.

Tonight has been much quieter around here than the last couple so I've had a chance to roam the blogosphere and check out the usual suspects. There are a few of you 'out there' that I generally keep in fairly regular email contact with but I haven't over the last few weeks. I might play catch up Friday night on that but if in the meantime you fell like dropping me a line - feel free. I'll be around.

Restless Natives

There hasn't been an awful lot of time to write these last couple of nights as there have been a constant flow of residents up and down through the night. Some have things on their minds that they want to talk out; others disturbed by material covered during the day that won't allow them decent rest; a couple are struggling through treatment while nursing coughs and colds. One guy is due to leave at days end and worries about what his immediate future holds - I remember that feeling of hope tinged with fear. 'Will I make it a day? a few days? a week, month... dare I hope a year? No, stay in the moment and work through the next hour.'

Between these visits and my tours about the house I kill a few minutes here and there checking videos on Youtube. I was surprised to find most of Jeff Beck's brand new DVD posted there. Hell, it hasn't even been released in N. America yet. From what I saw it is a 'must buy' and is supposed to be out on March 11. It features guest performances by Joss Stone, Imogen Heap and Eric Clapton. (Then I went hunting for a video of Imogen and Jeff performing 'Rollin' and Tumblin' but all I can find is an audio version - damn fine song - go check it out.) Imogen has her own youtube channel with a video blog that is worth having a look at.

Other than that things are pretty much the same. Lynda and I are getting along fabulously well. I continue to look for other work but there isn't any to be found. Finances are a struggle cuz I'm still carrying the townhouse with little coming in from the boarders - may be forced to turf one of them. Lynda's niece may move in with us in another month or so if she finds a college work placement near us. She is eighteen and chuck full of life, as she should be. Good kid. I don't expect to have any dayshifts next week and am looking forward to having some time off. Watch now - someone will surely get sick and I'll be called in last minute. My week is more than half done - 4 nights done and 3 to go. Woo-Hoo!!

A few weeks ago I saw a post on 'Quinn Creative' about making copper book covers and had mentioned it to a counsellor here. He's to bring in some light gauge sheet copper for me to fiddle with sometime in these next couple of days. If I like the outcome I'll share it here. Quinn's post reminded me of a shop project back in high school that turned out well. There are all sorts of tooling you can do with it, plus acid etching, embossing, debossing, burnishing and enamelling. We shall see.....

Not A Quitter....

.... usually.

But the time has come again for a serious attempt to quit smoking. I've been back at it since sometime in late October and I'm feeling the effects. Thankfully I've managed to keep it quite a bit below the amount I used to smoke. Unfortunately it's still making me feel like crap.

Last year I quit on my son's 25th birthday; my planned quit date is our grandson Owen's 5th birthday. Tonight I registered for a quit smoking contest run by the Canadian Cancer Society where you commit to abstaining for the month of March..... with the intent that if you manage to quit for the month you'll have the incentive to carry on the quit. Top prize is a new car..... not bad.

Between now and the quit date I intend to do some writing about all the background reasons I have to want to quit. Besides that my principal aid will be the CD recording of my hypnosis session from last years quit. I might put in a call to the hypnotherapist Lauren to review any notes she might have kept from our interview; might help, can't hurt. Perhaps some regular directed prayer for the relief of the obsession to smoke will help as well. 'Thy will, not mine be done.'

Soon I'll be saying, 'I quit'.... and hopefully it will be for the very last time.

New blog friend Rao writes here at 'The Age Of Geek' about his recent success in quitting.

Off Hiatus

.... I'm BACK.

There has been way too much packed into the last few days to try and recount here. The only important things have been getting out with my loverly wife for a Valentine's dinner back on Friday night; and we spent the afternoon and evening Saturday with Owen out at his place west of Toronto.

The dinner was delicious at our favourite steak joint; Steak Neptune.... choice cuts grilled to medium and smothered with Bearnaise sauce which was laden with shrimp, scallops and crab. And crunchy asparagus.... and hot sourdough bread. Oh, and the company was great as we rarely manage to see one another never mind actually get out and enjoy each other's company. It was a treat.

Owen was a blast, chuck full of love and enthusiasm... just go, go, going the whole time we were there. 'Let's do this Pops.' and 'C'mon Gramma, I want to show you this.' Counting, spelling, adding, drawing.... you name it, we did it. On and off through the day Owen was trying to maneuver us into staying over night and explaining how we could work the sleeping arrangements. Along around his bedtime Lynda told him that we had to go - that we had a long drive ahead to get home. His eyes welled up and he threw his arms around Lynda's neck... then she choked up and got all teary. For a minute there I thought we might just be staying the night. Only after assurances that we'd be back for his 5th birthday party next weekend did he settle down again and we were free to get on our way.

What else?? Well, lot's else actually but it's just plain busy sorts of stuff. Lynda had some running to do with a friend Sunday while I attended a district AA committee meeting in the afternoon. Pretty dry stuff (no pun intended) but I'm still getting used to some procedural changes with the new position I was elected to. Back at home we kept a steady feed happening for the washer & dryer of clothes, sheets and towels while dashing about before a quick lie down in preparation for coming to work. This could be a long shift as there are a few hours to go and I'm rapidly running out of steam. I think I'm due for some extended down time.

I expect to be short changed on sleep today as I'll be waking to a houseful of company - out of town family are coming for the afternoon and dinner. It will be a rushed muddle getting time with them, getting cleaned up, eating, and out the door again to work. This is a long weekend for most (not I) here.

There has been some talk between Lynda and I about me (maybe) taking a 2 or 3 day trip to Calgary so I can meet my grand-daughter Madison. She is almost 7 months old already and I'm feeling badly that I haven't made it out there yet. Must get talking to her Mom & Dad.

Along with the good stuff there is some discord. Ever get that feeling that although things are apparently going the way you wish them to, there is something running below the surface that just doesn't quite 'click'?? I'm doing my best to discount the feeling and believe it's mind play at work but.... I also find I'm doing the 'turtle' thing and pulling in all the extremities for fear that something is about to be lopped off, shocked or pierced. My nose and toes will re-appear ever so slowly once I have some indication everything is kosher and on the up-and-up. The human mind is a strange thing, n'est pas? It's probably a reaction to having to spend considerable time in the company of someone I detest..... and was unable to avoid or otherwise get away from with any degree of grace. Amazing just how long a four hour span can be; it seemed never-ending.

By A Thread.....

Given that I've worked over 100 hours in the last 9 days I'm carrying a solid weariness that feels like it is running through and through me; right to the core. I've been in the door for about an hour, tended to the pets, straightened up a few household things, have a couple of emails and messages to reply to..... and then the balance of the day will be devoted to rest and personal maintenance. Hmmm... maybe a long soak in the tub is in order for my achy bones. Aaaahhhhhh......

These day shifts at work have been good having been involved in running program meetings and doing one-on-one reviews with the guys. A day off today to catch up, rest up and be ready for another day of work tomorrow.

Later on I hope to catch up on blog buddies recent posts as I had at tops 1/2 an hour on the computer last evening during our in-house meeting to do a little checking around.

Anyway - I thought I'd best check in, let you know I'm hanging in and feeling pretty damned good considering all the hours I've put in lately. Ciao.

p.s. - We're enjoying much milder above freezing temps bringing about a major thaw, light fog and now a drizzly rain. Good napping weather. zzzzzzzzz.....

This and That and That and That....

Newsflash!! I feel good today! / tonight! It's a nice change because I haven't been very energetic lately. Part of might be that this 70+ hour work week will be over in a few hours. Hmmm.... could be.

The other thing might be that tonight Lynda and I laid eyes on one another for the first time this week. A sight for sore eyes, fer sure, even if it was for only an hour. I had everything on the go for our BBQ dinner by the time she got in from work - the grill warmed up; peppers, onions and garlic chopped and heating in the pan; potatoes peeled and on to boil. I think it was probably late November or early December the last time I fired up the grill; lord, I was ready for a good steak. And it turned out great! I wolfed mine down, grabbed my coat and keys and had to dash for work.

Quiet night here at work; I've been killing time roaming the blogs and firing off comments and emails.

Birthday greetings went out to two great ladies who both turned 50 this week; Lazy Buddhist on the 2nd and Lea Kelley yesterday on the 7th. Now the real fun starts girls!!

Kel at 'xfacta' was good enough to post an update about their local conditions in SE Australia where they are being plagued by wildfires. Put my mind at ease somewhat after seeing reports on the evening news. An incredible heatwave with sustained temps over 40C have left everything tinder dry.

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On another note entirely.... The counsellor I'm working with tonight gave me his copy of a book to check out through the night tonight. One I'd never seen before. It's re-written Bible which relates 12 step recovery directly to scripture and is chuck full of daily meditations and other resources. For a full description, for anyone interested or to pass along, see this link: http://www.amazon.com/Recovery-Devotional-Bible-Verne-Becker/dp/0310936756. There are times when I feel spiritually 'stuck' and this has come along at an appropriate time.

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A couple of posts ago I described my work schedule for this week..... besides that, when I get up early Sunday afternoon Lynda and I have a few hours of work to do during the afternoon. Dinner, relax, bed... then up for work Monday. After work Monday I'll have enough time to dash home, change and eat before going to set up my home group AA meeting. Home, bed and up for work Tuesday on into Wednesday. Get off work Wednesday morning, head home and collapse into bed for the day (I hope). Back to work Thursday. C'mon Friday!! Lynda and I are intent on keeping our dinner date but haven't decided whether to go out Friday or Saturday for Valentine's.

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It's 4 a.m. and it's a balmy +4C outside!! Positively short-sleeve shirt weather. Glorious!! I'm not sure how long it is supposed to last but I'm thoroughly relishing it while it's here.

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I have no clue as to when I'll be able to post again but I'll be checking in for comments when I can..... and roaming blogland looking in on the regular crew. Have a great week; mine is just about over. Toodles.

Random Pic's

I have a few minutes on my hands here and thought a splash of colour would be a nice change. This first one is Freedom and Milo in the yard last winter when Milo was still a pup. He hasn't grown a great deal but is a little longer, a bit taller and has filled out and become more solid. Freedom is a husky / border collie mix. Milo's mom is a purebred Jack Russell but we don't know who daddy was.

I'm getting ahead of myself by a couple of months at least but I can't wait for vivid abundant colour and warm breezes.

Buddy is the younger of our two cats and although he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer he does get along well with his playmates. To the point of being a willing pillow at times.

M.I.A. Present and Future

I'd best write something of substance here soon or no one will be stopping by. Bear with me as I've gotten hung up rummaging about in the archives - it has proven to be a time consuming endeavor.

Otherwise, strange days?? Although I've spent a fair amount of time in bed and had a few sessions of seemingly sound sleep I'm having quite a battle with fatigue. Dragging butt between when I get up, get myself together and leave for work - a space of about 4 or 5 hours. Doing what must be done and little else.

On the work front things are improving. A couple of our more troublesome clients have left in the last couple of days and one goes later on today. The entire atmosphere of the house is transformed. Now the rest of them can quietly get on with their recovery. Back to business without the constant distraction of dominant / discordant personalities.

We've been to a couple of particularly good outside meetings this week with extraordinary speakers. Their stories haven't been all sweetness and light; they've shared about their struggles in recovery as well and that brings hope for newcomers about living life on life's terms. Tonight I ran into one of my sponsees unexpectedly. He travels on the job a lot and had just returned to town for the day before heading out again today for several more days.

Talking on the phone with Lynda earlier - before she went to work she took my Mom out and they both got their hair done and did some shopping through the mall. Mom loves her time with Lynda; they enjoyed themselves so much they're planning another get-together today. We were talking about a date at our favourite steak joint one night next week. I didn't tell her I was planning to marinate some steaks for the BBQ Saturday before I come to work. (It's supposed to get considerably milder.) What the hay - we can do both and see which is better.

I expect next week will be 'blog light' and I'll tell you why. This work week finishes at 6 Sunday morning. I've been asked to work a dayshift rotation starting Monday morning and it's a wonky rotation. Days Monday; a 26 hour sleep-over shift Tuesday into Wed; another day shift Thursday. The only time spent at the computer will likely be checking emails, doing banking and checking in on blog friends posts. Of course the best part will be being here running day meetings and being directly involved in client's recovery efforts.

Although I don't really feel like it I had better get back to editing the archives. Mind the dust as I shuffle things about......

Plodding Along

I haven't written much these last couple of nights as I've waded back through my posts to do some editing. I've been trying to ensure there isn't anything that invades anyone's privacy, discloses too much, or is hurtful. Truth be told I haven't found much but I haven't reached the point where Lynda and I were breaking up for a time there, either. So far I haven't come across anything I needed to delete, for sure. There is a long way to go yet as I've posted in excess of 600 entries to date. As I go along it is fun to re-read some of the topics and events that have been covered - some I had forgotten about.... and I've been adding 'labels' as I go along. It should make things easier to find when I want to locate something specific.

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Tuesday through the day the temp was hovering around -10; during the evening it gradually dropped to about -15C; after 2 a.m. the wind switched around to the north and the mercury dropped like a rock down to -25C. Walking out of work in the morning into the wind was absolutely stunning - like being whacked in the forehead with a frozen hammer. Wind driven tears froze on my cheeks as I cleared snow from the windshield. I had the car heater blowing on 'full' all the way home and never had to turn it down. Once home and off to bed I doubled the comforter over myself and waited ages for the chill to leave me. Tonight it has dropped to -30C but at least the winds are still. Aahhh, winter in Canada!!! Nothing like it (unless you live in Siberia).

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Back to regular blogging soon......

Wine Tip

I know - strange for a retired alky to be suggesting a drink nevermind something in particular...but hey! that's just the kind of guy I am..... still trying to share the good stuff even if it isn't good for me.

The wines are probably labelled differently in different countries so I won't name them but a couple have been recommended to Lynda lately that she went ahead and bought. Both of them are blended wines; one was Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot, the other a Cabernet with Shiraz. They are a dense, rich red with a terrific 'nose' to them. On both occasions when Lynda poured a glass she told me I had to have a whiff of them. They smell glorious!! I could get into a pack of trouble with these, I tell ya, but of course I'd need a 5 gallon pail to start with. Lynda says they pack quite a punch though; that she can feel the effects after just a glass.

One brand was from South Africa; the other from Australia. Have an eye!! The nose knows!

A Tonic, .....

a balm, ..... an elixir.......

We had two days back-to-back with clear blue skies and temps on the plus side of freezing. To me it 'felt' like +20C but in reality we probably got up to 6 or 7. It was nice enough to sit outside mid-afternoon to drink my wake up coffee and be comfortably warm. Beautiful!! Just what I needed after a very snowy Saturday where I had to shovel the driveway twice; once around dinner time and again at 10 p.m.

With the warmth Sunday and Monday we had quite a thaw and lost a fair bit of the snow that fell Saturday. Not to worry, there is plenty left. We're still on track to set a snowfall record for the season - about 15 cm ahead of where we were last year at this time. Within a day or two we're heading back to night time lows below -20C again and day time highs around -7 to -5C. C'mon spring!!!

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One of the counsellors here had an 'Anger Inventory' quiz which I asked to copy. Later on when checking it out it was split into 6 areas and was comprised of about 30 questions which help you identify how you process anger. I was able to see one area that I continue to have problems with; it fell under the label 'Moral Outrage'.... and has to do with big picture systemic sorts of things which are beyond my control. There were also two other areas where I used to have issues but not any longer. I must be maturing and getting more right-minded as I age; what a concept!!

Once I was done with myself I started looking at it from other people's points of view. Apparently Lynda is pretty healthy in her dealings with anger. Stepson #3's score came clanging in at a relatively unhealthy '5'.... but he's better than he was say 5 years ago. Stepson #2 is in need of some help. He had scores in 5 of the 6 areas and had multiple hits in a couple of them. I wish him well, I wish him happiness but I can't see him ever attaining it by his own devices. So very happy I don't live in his head. God bless him.

Anyway, in respect to all that; I rarely allow my personal feelings about any of our clients to affect how I treat them. There are 3 in-house right now who are feeding off one another and negatively affecting the quality of other client's treatment. Here comes the 'moral outrage' where I question why they have been allowed to stay so long when it is apparent they have no interest or purpose in being here. Largely I've been correcting their behaviours when appropriate, ignoring it when it is minor and trying to focus instead on making other client's stays more positive. Afterall, we are here to treat, not discharge. For some all we can do is plant seeds that may come to fruition at a later date.