Another work week almost done

It's been a good week and in a few hours I'll be able to head home and catch some shut-eye. I've been operating most of the week sleep deprived; I guess those weeks covering the day shift have thrown me off. No big deal; I'll survive.

The lot of us had gone out to a meeting tonight on the school bus and were outside afterward waiting on it to bring us back to the house. We waited, had a smoke, waited some more, enjoyed the snow and got a little chilly....and waited! One of the women who had left at the end of the meeting pulled back into the lot to tell me our bus had broken down a few blocks away and that we were stranded. Back into the hall to make a few phone calls to get 30 of us ferried back in a fleet of taxis. That had never happened before!

Things are good here. Lynda was enjoying a night out with a bunch of her workmates tonight. I spoke to Sarah last night; she's feeling somewhat better and has put on a few pounds. I have a whole new learning curve ahead of me - my group elected me to a new position that excelerated me past a couple of interim spots - regarding AA as an organization above the group level. It should be interesting and I have a lot to read and learn.

Hmmmm...just got called on to do an intervention via phone. Buddy wasn't expecting a call from a counsellor while driving to his crack dealer's place - I think he just about wet his pants. I've never been asked to make a call like that before either. Interesting night. Ah well, he's on his way home now to someone who cares about him.

"And so it goes...." - I think that's what Kurt Vonnegut used to say.

The long week has left me with nothing much on my mind; I haven't had a chance to make many plans for next week so I'll refresh and renew myself and wait to see what unfolds. Peace.

How cold is it ???

This in response to Kel's recent posts about high temps and bush fires in Oz and todays post by Michelle about the +40C temps in SA.

We're enjoying(?) a transpolar cold snap straight out of Siberia, across the North Pole and into the heart of east central Canada. I was just outside for a very brief smoke and the trees are snapping with the cold. Not breaking and falling down but popping like small arms fire as they contract. Tonight its about -15C/-5F and the high for tomorrow is to be -18C!!!

Michelle was describing the measures she is taking to get relief from the heat. Here is how I'm layering up to stay warm - socks & undies (natch), longjohns, T-shirt, pants, turtleneck, shirt. When I head outside I also put on a bulky cotton sweater, scarf, a thermal vest and my Aussie oilskin coat. With temps where they are and no wind you can be out for a fair while without problems but if the wind picks up there's a very real danger of frostbite which can occur within minutes.

(One of our clients right now lost most of his fingers and toes a few years ago when he sank his snowmobile; had to climb out of the lake, run about a kilometer in freezing temps to the nearest phone and wait for an ambulance outside.)

It's so cold that.....it kills your car battery and thickens the oil in the pan so much that the engine won't turn over. Take a spray bottle outside, give it a squirt and the water will hit the ground as ice pellets. Spend five minutes outside and your ears, nose and fingers are brilliant red, tingle and take half an hour to warm up. I hope these sorts of images cool you down just a little bit. Me, I'm enjoying the thought of 40+ - just for a minute to keep me warm.

***update*** - If it gets any colder the big hooded downfilled jacket (that makes me look like the Michelin Man) comes out of storage. We don't want to see that, do we?

Damn! Another Sign of Aging

While in the kitchen earlier on tonight I was listening to the radio that had been left on. It was tuned to the local 'oldies' station which I don't normally listen to. Last time I'd given it a good listen they were playing material that had been released up until 1970, the year I turned 16. Seems they've updated their playlist to include songs into the early '80's - my early 30's. There wasn't anything played that pre-dated my awareness of music; that I didn't relate to in some way, shape or form. Lots of associated memories of people, places and events that I hadn't thought of in a long time. There were even a couple of tunes by people that my brothers and I went to high school with. Good stuff.


Another of music's finest minds and voices passed away the other day. The Canadian quarter of the Mamas & Papas - Denny Doherty - died in Toronto of kidney failure following surgery. The only remaining member of the group is the timelessly beautiful Michelle Phillips.

Odds & Ends

On the ride to work tonight, just after sunset, I spotted comet McNaught just a few degrees above the horizon - the brightest object in the sky. I was able to keep it in view for most of the 20 minute drive until a bank of light cloud obscured it. Thanks Michelle for the heads up.

On arriving here I was shocked and saddened to hear that one of our former clients had died after going back to using. His mother called to inform us and to thank the staff for their efforts. I had spent quite a lot of time talking with him during his stays with us and had been in contact with him at the long term facility that he went on to from here. He apparently was unable to lose the obsession; he lost his life when he o.d.'d and his heart failed. Just 38. I'm going to miss him.

Little sister Linda is off on yet another holiday come morning, this time to Cuba. Her timing isn't the greatest as Castro's health is reportedly failing fast. I wouldn't want to be on the island to see what happens in the aftermath of his death. There will be prayers flying for both of them - for Linda's safe return and Fidel's quick passage into the next plane. Lynda and I will take turns checking in on Mom while Linda is away; or maybe I should just go and stay there a few days??

Daughter Sarah emailed today to say that she'd landed in the emerg dept last night and was treated for severe dehydration as a result her inability to ingest anything and keep it down during this early stage of pregnancy. I've heard of some women having problems with morning sickness but never anything to this extent. They gave her fluids via I.V. and different meds for nausea.

JPW - if you should stop by this space - I ran into your friend Ann at the GSR meeting Sunday; she asked me to say hi and also to remind you about the meeting on the island Tuesday night. Try giving me a call after the alumni meeting and we'll catch up - George will be on with me.

This is likely to be a looooonngg night as I spent a number of hours in bed today but had, at best, 2 hours of broken sleep throughout. I'm looking forward to crash & burn time come morning. That said, I'd best finish my work before I don't feel like doing it.

Attraction

Musical reference - Lena Horne's "Honey in the Honeycomb"

Without any sort of qualification, Lynda happens to be a particularily attractive woman. Her good looks in combination with her personality at times make her the recipient of a good deal of unwanted and unsolicited attention; primarily from men but occassionaly from women as well. She's generally very good at rebuffing advances without causing injury to anyones feelings. I'm okay because she's adept at dealing with it on an ongoing basis. My brother has hit on her, my cousin makes pointed remarks, her co-workers ask her out, her sons friends ask about her...most guys have the good sense to walk away. She'll come over to me and ask, 'You caught that exchange didn't you? I didn't do anything, did I? I didn't, I know I didn't!'

Saturday night was different. Our hostess is a woman about our age and her nephew was playing host. He's around 30 and didn't go away. Everytime I walked away from Lynda's side he was there draping himself over her as they danced and giving her a good mauling. She tried telling him to back off and beckoning me with looks that said 'Save me!'. He's lucky she didn't haul off and deck him. I cut in a few times, stared him down a few more times and then gave him a tongue lashing about how he was behaving. This guy was so full of self and testosterone that he just didn't get it. 'She ain't interested in you buddy.' I wound up getting a good rage on and was about ready to hit him when Lynda pulled the plug and said it wasn't worth the aggravation - let's bail.

Otherwise it had been a good party - 25 or 30 people, good music, great food, lots of dancing.....all it takes is one jerk to spoil a good time though. I was glad to leave at the end of it all.

****update****
Yes, I know violence isn't a solution. I tried to operate on spiritual principles for most of the evening but after a very persistent 5 hours of aggravation, I'd pretty much had it. Mea culpa.

A 'Quit' Update

Yup, still smokin'; but working on it. I'd cut my consumption by half during that damned cold and have pretty much managed to keep it there even as I get feeling better. I've done some of the writing that I'd planned to do in preparation to quit and have a little more fleshing out to do before my quit date. It would be great to stop without any relapses but even if there are some bumps it's important to not give up on quitting; keep the end result in view. Lately I've been buying just a pack or two at a time instead of cartons as I might just jump the gun and decide I've had enough and quit.

Many thanks to Robin at 'Life in the Bogs' for her post on 'the joys of quitting' and congratulations on celebrating another anniversary smoke-free. Gives me something to aspire (respire) to.

Peace

I'm at work and I've been watching it snow for the last few hours - there's likely between 2 and 3 inches now. Just out for a smoke break and it's a nice bracing cold; exactly what you need at 3 a.m. to wake you up a bit. The snow is the very fine sort almost like sand. As I was watching I'd hoped it'd really let loose with the big fluffy stuff so I could go stand and point my flashlight up into it and be tranfixed once again. But this will do - it's quiet here on the edge of the village, the grounds and trees are beautiful with the even frosting of snow. It's windless and the snow is falling gently out there. It's warm inside and there's a nice hot cuppa by my elbow. Ahhh...priceless.

On Being Epileptic......

One thing I haven't disclosed up til now is that as a consequence of my alcoholism (and likely the plethora of drugs I ingested) I was diagnosed with epilepsy about 8 years ago. It isn't something I generally think about an awful lot but it's been on my mind a fair bit lately as I've just been switched to a new generic medication. Seizure management took a dramatic turn for the better a few years ago when I was put on the original version of this med. Up until that point I'd been on 4 different meds with unreliable results and multiple side effects - and that only after the 'year from hell' trying various meds, dosages and combinations thereof. In any case, this switch in meds came about last week and voila! multiple seizures again.

I should point out that there are different classes of seizure activity and if you were to choose the sort that was preferable to have, it would be the type I have. No loss of conciousness, no jerking and twitching. Mine is way down the scale from that and little more than an inconvenience. They usually last less than 2 minutes from start to finish and present with an 'aura' (hallucination) of an intense spicy odour. Then the brainstorm hits; extremely rapid bits of memory, sounds, sights and sensations lasting for around 30 seconds. Lastly they work down my body with some physiological side effects that while unpleasant are tolerable.

Mild ones pass quickly without ill effect. Occassionally I get rocked with a particularily heavy jolt that impairs my ability to think properly and affects my moods, usually for the balance of my waking hours. On the odd occassion that I have multiples in the course of a day I'll lie down for an hour to recuperate. If they should occur while I'm 'in company' I can usually be discrete and no one around me will know I've had one - they just wonder what induced a sudden bout of swearing from my vicinity.

The generic is supposed to be the same chemical make-up as the original and so should be equally effective. I'll give it another week to see if my system adjusts to the change or not. If it doesn't, there will be a quick call to my neurologist telling him to have the pharmacy switch me back to the other med. The $100 a month saving isn't worth it.

Last Saturday marked 3 1/2 years sober for me and 4 years smoke free for Lynda. One day at a time.

A Quickie

Just thought I'd dash off a quick note to say that things have been really busy. I had a call in to work on Tuesday as we had a couple of sick staff and seeing how we run light on staff anyway; things were madness here. Yesterday I had another call to see if I'd be able to do one of those 26 hour overnight shifts today. Well CERTAINLY I can!! God it's nice to be doing the work I like; to be needed to work and to be PAID for it! Gotta love it!!

It's also nice to enjoy a lull in the action while the guys are out at a meeting; regroup, refocus and enjoy the quiet.

We had a couple of bitterly cold days and nights earlier this week. -25 at night and colder with the wind chill. I didn't stop shivering for 2 days even though I was all layered up. Crazy. I should start eating blocks of suet in mid-October and layer up on fat for times like this.

Aural Gratification

No, I haven't bought any new music lately. Haven't spent enough time at the computer to download any either. So I followed my link to 'I Guess I'm Floating' to see what the boys are recommending these days. Natch, being on the slippery side of 50, not all of what I heard is exactly to my taste but I didn't come away disappointed. Each of these artists/bands have crafted a unique sound for themselves - some unconventional time signatures, interesting instrumentation, solid musicianship, good production, pop riffs, slashing guitars, sinuous synths etc, etc. See what you think about these mp3 streams.....

Arizona - 'Some Kind of Chill'

The Winks - either track

Starlight Mints - either track

Portastatic - either track

Brandson - 'Earthquakes and Sharks'

Pixies - 'Holiday Song'

I tend (like most people I suppose) to listen to what is familiar and will occassionally range up and down the radio dial to catch what is new in the various markets. I also need to stretch my musical ears sometimes by listening to tunes like these. It's a good way to clear the webs. Just the sort of fix I was craving.

The State of Affairs

In an effort to sleep away this cold I wound up oversleeping and getting up late; so much so that I was up, had a smoke, showered and dressed to go in about 40 minutes. Something of a record for me - I like to take my time greeting the day. I'd made a commitment to share the phone coverage at the local AA office with another of our group members and made it to the office with only minutes to spare. It was good to have a chance to just relax and talk with someone I like to spend time with. We pretty much stayed away from program stuff. We talked mostly about 'A's fitness regimin and mindful eating habits so I was telling him about Michelle's recent posts and also an emailed chart about the particular health benefits of a variety of fruits and veggies that my cousin had sent me. I left 'A' to cover the rest of the shift and made it to work in time for the inhouse AA meeting. Good meeting; speaker; message. It's a pretty quiet, focused house these days - a good group.

Lynda had a significant financial windfall recently and she's decided to be 'smart' with most of it by sticking it into a retirement account. She also decided to splurge with the balance and take us on a trip to one of the Carribbean isles. We're thinking late March; if winter ever arrives we'll be sick of it by then. The only problem may be that we're going with 2 other couples and they, along with Lynda, all drink. I don't mind being around people drinking for a few hours but once they start getting seriously altered I get edgy. I'll deal with it when the time comes; one person, one situation, one day at a time. Doesn't pay to anticipate. Regarding more practical matters - we need to get moving on passport renewal very soon or we won't be going anywhere. I have about 10 weeks to tone up and get some meat on my bones - don't want to scare anyone. In our 13 years together this will be the first time we've travelled together - awesome. Better late than never and we are due for a break.

Yes, winter! '06-'07 The Winter That Wasn't!! In this part of southern Ontario we generally have snow on the ground to stay sometime just around Xmas. Here we are almost 3 weeks later and still nothing except a couple of brief storms that left some snow for a couple of days. We've had record setting mild, wet weather so far. Gotta love rain; you don't have to shovel it! My back is grateful. Kudos to the weather gods.

Back to work for now.

Ramble on

My assignment to cover for a sick collegue is over; I started back on nights Wednesday night. That's fine, too. I knew it was a time limited thing and it was good while it lasted. I enjoyed taking an active part in the guys early recovery. Last night was a busy one getting organized for the balance of the week. It's a short one - just 4 nights instead of 7. Even with being busy I had an opportunity to write here but chose not to as I was in a pretty lousy mood. I put it down to my lingering cold - I can psych myself to put up with one for a week or so but when it drags on into 11 or 12 days well, enough is enough. 'Nothing that a big bottle of rye wouldn't cure.' - stinking thinking.

I took time to check in by phone tonight with my son Russ in Calgary and daughter Sarah in Vancouver. Russ is busy working 2 jobs getting himself into better financial shape and fitting a busy social life around his work. Sarah is struggling through this early stage of pregnancy; she's prey to sudden mood swings and admits she's hard to live with and be around. I encouraged her to make a conscious decision at the beginning of each day to make the best of it.

One thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is making another attempt to quit smoking. The plan is coming together but needs more work. The date has been chosen but I need to sit down and write about positive expectations & benefits as well as minimizing the negative aspects i.e. severity of withdrawal. It was brought home again today when talking on the phone to Lynda - a good friend of hers at work was in remission from one type of cancer and has just been diagnosed with another in both lungs. Death sentence. She's younger than us and has never smoked. Lynda is coming up on 4 years smoke free and is very supportive of me quitting. If I get much more 'cleaner-living' I'll soon be eligible for the sainthood. What's left??

After lights out tonight I had a long wide-ranging discussion with one of the clients who was having trouble settling for the night. What I'm finding is that it's often harder to lead someone back to faith once they've lost it rather than introducing a faith-based solution to someone who has never had it. I wound up telling him that we'd have to change his name from Peter to Thomas (of the doubting variety). If you've ever read 'Games People Play' - this guy was playing a perfect game of 'Yes, but...'. Always another challenge, doubt or question. Close your eyes, believe, get off the gunwale of the boat and start walking. When you open your eyes and see you're walking on the water you'll have your proof that faith works. Don't ask for assurances up front. Believe and then find your own evidence.

Enough sermonizing for now - must check on my charges.

A look back at Xmas and New Years

We didn't go over the top with gift giving this year but one thing I appreciated getting was some new clothes. A nice pair of pants, 4 shirts and a couple of ties; all of it for work. It's really nice to have some clothes that fit and look new. I used to weigh in around the 155-160 mark but when I stopped drinking I lost about 15lb of booze weight. Over the last few months I've lost another 5-7lb so now I'm in around the 135 mark - not much spread over a 5'11" frame. So, like I said, it's nice to have something that fits - snug at the waist, the butt doesn't sag and the collars don't gape.

For the first time we didn't go out for New Years or have people in as I had to be up and at work early NY day. Lynda and I watched the Alison Krauss/Union Station DVD that I'd rec'd for Xmas. Fantastic musicianship. It was over before the news came on so we saw how the year was ushered in around the world before it reached us. A fantastic firework display from Sydney Harbour.

There were a few cross country phone calls checking in with my kids, Mom and my brother's families. Lynda made it up to see a bunch of her family on Boxing Day.

Much as I enjoy celebrating the season it's always a relief to have it behind me again and feel the stress level come down.

Things are in a state of flux at my workplace again so there's some anticipation as to how that will shake out over the next couple of weeks. Situation normal - what will be, will be. Pitter patter - let's get at 'er!

Hiatus / Limbo

Hi all - Happy 2007! It's been so long since I posted that it seems a daunting task to try and play catch up - so I won't do that in a big way. I've been checking in on blog friends and doing a quick read as time allows. Let's just say the last few weeks have been frenetic activity interspersed with brain-dead exhaustion. Home and family, work and work functions, AA meetings and special holiday events.....the list goes on. Yesterday I had my days mixed up and missed a commitment with a sponsee - thought it was Tuesday and hey! it wasn't - it was Wednesday! Hate it when that happens.

I managed to run myself down enough that I'm starting the year off with a head cold - I spent all day yesterday in my housecoat, had a nice long hot bath, listened to some tunes, napped, cooked and went to bed early. Feeling about the same today but I have things to do as I'm back to work tomorrow. It's just a cold and will be gone soon.

One particularily nice thing that happened was that the book arrived from Australia courtesy of Kel at xfacta. (Gloat, brag, carry on a bit....) Kel has a short story published in it and I won the book after submitting an entry to a challenge that Kel put out. My entry, will I hope, serve as a draft to be expanded on at a later date so as to do their story justice - it's a choppy read, as is. Thanks Kel for sending the book; it's something to treasure.

Just had an email from daughter Sarah and she's having some trouble with this early stage of pregnancy. Nausea to the point of loosing significant weight, wild mood swings - mostly negative, isolating.....Any memories of that sort of thing ladies?? Her due date is Aug 14.

On my 'to do' list - sort out my camera problems so I can start to post some pictures. I may have to reinstall the camera software to my hard-drive - something ain't right here. Lynda took a couple of cool B&W shots that are worth sharing. I've been having a giggle figuring out an I.D. shot for this blog that will allow me to retain my anonymity - face drawn on a brown paper bag; photo with face partly obscured - we shall see. Seems a shame tho to deny you my incredibly good looks - LOL. (no comment from you JPW) LOL some more!

Kel - I hope your back settles down quickly. Been there, done it, hated it.
Michelle - Glad you enjoyed your company; sorry your workload is so great. Get out and enjoy the warmth and sunshine.
Robin - Happy you and M enjoyed the holidays back at the bogs. Stay in touch.
Glen - Keep writing buddy. Every time I check your site I come away with something. Something great.
JPW - We must talk. I'll call/you call. Whatever works.

Later.