Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Sister Linda

Turns out this is the day surgery that wasn't. They decided to keep Linda overnight because they were having a hard time controlling her bleeding afterward in the recovery room. Lynda took Mom for a visit late yesterday afternoon along with some toiletries and a couple of books and games. Linda was firmly under the influence of the morphine and was drifting in and out during their visit. (Ah, memories.....that nice floaty feeling....)

I was talking to Lynda a little earlier and there is no sign Linda will be released anytime soon - she had a sleepless night full of pain. Lynda is picking Mom up and heading out with more supplies, a smiling face and some encouragement. Lynda told Mom that she would drop her at the hospital door as it's so windy here today that Mom could be blown away if she tried walking from the parking lot. If Mom shrinks any smaller, by jeez..... we'll be able to tuck her on a shelf.

Linda is looking at a long recovery period at home..... poor Linda; poor Mom.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Special For BJ..........

.....remembering Oscar Peterson......

Turn those speakers on, click HERE and marvel ..... at the genius of the man, the talent, the deft hands. Such a gentleman.

'Goodbye'.

Labels: , , ,

11 Months....

Remarkable..... I was curious to see when this roller coaster ride with Lynda began and so I checked the archives for the relevant post; Feb 24. That was when we sat down to iron some things out and the bottom fell out instead. Between then and when I moved into the townhouse in early July stepson #3 moved out so that he wouldn't be seen as choosing sides. Stepson #2 bought a condo apartment and moved out in May (I think). The day I moved out #3 moved right back in much to Lynda's (and my) chagrin.

Since then we've tried to help a couple of #3's friends; first Al moved into Lynda's back in September and then when another friend was at loose ends Al moved in with me at the new year and Mike took his place at Lynda's.

Where is all this explanation going? and why would you care? (....you might be asking.(?) Well... what Lynda and I are trying to do is get them all employed, responsible and independent so that the 3 of them can live here at the townhouse together. That way Lynda and I can live together at the house without anyone being reliant on us.....at long last. We might have a chance if we're left to our own devices for once.

These 3 that I'm talking about aren't kids - they range in age between 30 and 45......and it's about time they started looking after themselves.

Lynda and I continue to work on our stuff and we don't have anything written in stone or a timeline in mind but the general plan is coming together. All we need now is some co-operation.

It's amazing all that can happen in such a short span of time and still have a semblance of sanity.

Labels: , , , ,

Laying Low......

.... and trying to shake this damned cold. I think the bronchitis part of it is gone but now I'm stuck with the worst head cold I can remember. My nose runneth over...... sore ears, throat, blah, blah, blah..... (whine bag).

I had intended to come home last night but Lynda wanted my car today to get my sister Linda to the hospital. She was supposed to have a day surgery and be released late today but they had to really slice her open and will keep her a couple of days. After Lynda arrived back at the house we gallivanted (doncha just love that word?) around town for a couple of hours but I quickly ran out of steam after lunch, bailed out and came home to bed. My favourite 'too sick to do anything else' video went into the machine - 'Babe' - and I alternated between watching and snoozing; all the while sniffling.

I hadn't missed any of my commitments until last night when I chose not to attend my home group - first time I'd missed that in ages. Today I called and cancelled tonights session with young 'Woody' and I'm hoping to combine a meeting tomorrow with he and his new probation officer with an outing. Just as I was heading up to bed earlier my assistant manager called to ask if I would work a day shift tomorrow and one of those long sleep over shifts Thursday. I begged off for tomorrow in order to rest but told him I'd see him Thursday a.m.

What else is taking up head space?? Well, the democratic and republican hopefuls involved in the primaries south of the border are getting a lot of talk - especially Hillary and Obama. I'm not informed enough as yet to really have a favourite but do appreciate Hillary's profile and record.

In terms of entertainment, the only new thing I have is the Eagles latest release 'Long Road Out Of Eden' and I love it - highly recommend it. I keep listening to it over and over and continue to be amazed with the intricacies of it. Beautiful........

While we were out today Lynda and I had a bunch of pictures printed to send to Sarah, Daniel and Zeph from their Xmas trip here. Along with some clothes we bought for Zeph, they'll be parcelled up and posted tomorrow. I'll have to get onto Sarah and see if she has any recent ones to send our way - which I will share, of course, as any proud Papa would.

Time for another hot cuppa, aspirin and bed. Later.....

Labels: , , ,

Monday, January 28, 2008

Still Out Here.....

.....in the blogosphere; just not too active of late.

Funny how this cold didn't seem to be bothering me as much when my life was full and frantic. It has hung on for over two weeks and my bathroom looks like a drugstore. Last week it turned into bronchitis and I was prescribed antibiotics and a couple of puffers so I've used them in conjunction with decongestants and ibuprofen for the accompanying discomforts. Since I've been relieved of my work responsibilities I've taken to giving myself a break at midday and lying down for a rest.

Work - yes, I'm still deciding whether to resign myself to going back to nightwalk or not. As Lynda so kindly reminded me over the weekend, I still have a mortgage that needs to be paid. Thanks, hon. If I'm going back to that I'll have to make a call to my boss to arrange that to be set up as it involves a co-worker getting bumped from the spot. A few minutes ago I sent off one CV and cover letter to a local mental health agency to one contact I have in hopes they can use me. There is another counselling agency and withdrawal management centre that I can apply to locally so I'll get on that task this morning.

Yesterday there was a gathering of the clan - Lynda got her sons together to inform them of our plans to get back together. I absented myself so they would have free rein to express themselves, for good or ill, and apparently there really wasn't an awful lot said. 'It's up to you two what you do with your lives.' I headed back over afterward in order to have some time with Owen and play 'Thomas the Train Bingo'. He high fives everyone every time he get to cover a number - does jumping jacks when he gets a full card!!

Getting back to Lynda - things are still pretty abstract as yet and we still have to see how this develops but we're certainly headed in the right direction. I'm happy in that I haven't tried to coerce, persuade.....or any of that other sort of negative management of another. I've simply tried to be consistent in my messages to her about how I feel, proposed ideas and perspective for her consideration and let her make up her own mind. That is what has lead us to this point. We still have to look at a couple of specific issues and talk about overall expectations of each other in this renewed life together. There has been a lot of prayer and guidance at work here between ourselves and also from family, friends and significant others (like you out THERE). Thanks for your input and care; I appreciate your ongoing support and aid.

With having been ill there are a number of people I haven't been in touch with - some close, some afar......but I intend to pick up my end and get on those connections once again.

Labels: , , ,

Friday, January 25, 2008

Fresh Perspective.......

Once again the folks at Higher Awareness nailed it today with their offering for the day:


How can I serve today?

"God has no other hands than ours." -- Dorothee Solle

"One act of beneficence, one act of real usefulness, is worth all the abstract sentiment in the world." -- Ann Radcliffe

"Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them... he cried, ‘Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?’... God said, ‘I did do something. I made you.’" -- Sufi Teaching

"To learn to get along without, to realize that what the world is going to demand of us may be a good deal more important than what we are entitled to demand of it -- this is a hard lesson."
-- Bruce Catton

It helps me get beyond myself, to realize I have a purpose, that I need to continue to work toward my potential, that service is necessary to my wholeness.

Labels: ,

Thursday, January 24, 2008

No Coincidences.....

A random offering from cousin BJ earlier today.....

'Music is the medicine of the breaking heart.' ~Leigh Hunt

And so in the spirit of that...~
and a direct idea steal from Robin's recent posts at Bountiful Healing...~

Turn up your speakers and click HERE to enjoy! or perhaps HERE!!

Labels: ,

Screeching Halt....

......the inevitable has happened without warning.

The counsellor that I was relieving had his licence re-instated yesterday and appeared out of the blue at work this morning to see when his next scheduled shift would be. Suddenly he is back in the rotation next Monday; I'm at loose ends. Thankfully I managed to handle the day with a modicum of grace.

I have the option of returning to nightwalk or looking elsewhere. The last hour has been spent surfing all the usual job sites and tomorrow will be spent hitting on my contacts.

I'm off to a meeting in hopes of hearing something I need to hear today.

One door closes; another opens.

Labels: ,

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Good Weekend

Last night I hit a meeting with a sponsee, went for coffee and a yack afterward for an hour long talk.
This morning I was up early again to pick Lynda up so we could go into Toronto for the Home Show. It was held at the convention centre next to the CN Tower and Air Canada Centre. The show itself was good - all kinds of products and services for the home - but it always astounds me when I get into a building of that size; hundreds of thousands of enclosed square feet of SPACE! Knocks my eyes out!
This is going to be a short entry as it's time to get some rest but I did want to say that Lynda celebrated 5 years smoke free today!!! Quite the accomplishment, I'd say. Trying to get my head around another quit (which I've been stalled on for months). Actually I picked up a mixture of aromatic oils today that I'm to leave open beside the bed while I sleep; when I light up it's supposed to change how the cigarette tastes - bad. Whatever it takes....

Labels: , , , ,

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Busy Day So Far....

Lynda and I were up at the crack of dawn so we could get that job out of the way which we do each weekend. It was done and we had parted ways by 9 a.m. She's on the run today preparing to have some girlfriends from work over after they all go out to dinner - getting the house in order, shopping for food and drink. I came home to give my place a thorough cleaning; my boarder doesn't work but doesn't lift a finger around here. The 'joys'. Still suffering a bit with this cold so I'll be laying down for a rest, then cleaning myself up and making dinner before I head out to a meeting with one of my sponsees.

I haven't mentioned this for awhile but despite the cold I continue to smoke (dammit) but my appt with my neurologist is coming up and I'm hoping he will approve my use of a new drug therapy. Champix (Chantix in the US of A) attaches to the nicotine receptors at the neural synapse and over time works to reduce your urges to smoke. (Hi Sue) It hasn't been fully tested in people who have certain pre-existing medical conditions so whether he will prescribe or not is iffy.

We have a high pressure system passing through giving us clear skies and relatively mild temperatures but the forecast calls for sharply dropping temps tonight into the -15C range. Break out the long johns again.

I had another session with Woody last night discussing the outcome of his conviction on possession charges. 1 year probation, 25 community service hours, monthly attendance at a new drug court for young offenders, additional drug counsel through a large local agency, submitting to drug screening. He's had a few days to consider things and knows he got off lightly so his attitude has changed somewhat; he will be in full compliance. Should he have any breaches or new charges the consequence will be much greater and he doesn't want to experience that. Sidebar - I'm turning him into quite a good pool player. He beat me a couple of times last night, the bugger.

There was a call last night from one of the women I went to school with a few years ago asking if Lynda and I could come to a Jack & Jill (pre-wedding) party in a couple of weeks time. There are supposed to be a bunch of us from the class there so I'm going to try and make it. A little later on Lynda joined me here when she got off her afternoon shift so we had a couple of waking hours together and just 4 or 5 hours sleep before getting back up for the day.

Cousin BJ has had some troubles on the home front so there have been prayers and positive vibes headed her way. She has a terrific perspective on things and a strong faith which will see her through. Lots of good support, too - which always helps.

Time for a quick rest before I get on with the balance of the day. Happy Saturday!!

Have a Little Fun.....

http://www.qbesq.com/

Check out this link for a decent entertaining little time filler. Kel; you'll like this one.

It's like the old time spirograph..... but for your computer.

Labels: , ,

Monday, January 14, 2008

Taking My Time.....

......If there is any one good thing about being sick it would be the restricted energy which forces you to ssllooooww ddoooowwwnnnn......



It's been sort of nice having a few days off work so as to do not much of anything too demanding. Lynda and I managed to fill the weekend quite nicely without pushing to accomplish a great deal. I fit a couple of unscheduled naps in there when I ran out of steam.



It's back to the salt mine tomorrow though; a full day at the Tx centre and then the evening working with the young fellow again. Which reminds me - I haven't given him a name for reference here yet. The first one I dubbed Arlo so how be I call this one Woody. Our times together have been good and bad so far; some nights he's engaged and quite animated, others definitely not. As in; do you have a pulse? At times he is involved in making some changes, some good choices.... then he back slides directly into old ways of thinking and acting. Seesaw battle.



Today I spent a couple of hours giving my CV an overhaul getting it ready to be sent hither and yon. A friend had forwarded a copy of his for me to refer to as he has written it according to the most popular format of the times. According to him there is a software which scans CV's for key words and does a first rough sort for the person involved in the hiring process. Sounds a little 'big brother-ish' to me.... but time is money.



Tonight I chaired at my home group meeting and I had left arranging for a speaker until today. I put out a couple of calls around noon and one of the guys agreed to do it. He did a great job describing the extent to which his drinking had affected his life, then his approach to recovery and how life is going as he pursues ongoing sobriety. His talk tonight was somewhat different from one I heard him give some months ago and that tells me he is continuing to learn, process and apply the program in new ways.



It is likely wishful thinking but I have a half-assed plan to go visit Sarah, Daniel and Zeph in Vancouver at the end of February. With Zeph being so young and changing so quickly I'd like to be around to see as much of his young life as I'm able to witness and be part of. The big question mark as always is $$$$$'s.







Cuz I want to do more of this!!!!

Labels: , , , ,

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Self Care

During a conversation the other day with my boss John, the house manager, he referred to how I'd been driving myself lately and how I needed to be mindful to take care of myself - take some downtime, get some rest, ensure I eat properly, have some fun..... 'Yes John, I know, ... I will.'

Turns out there was something to what he had to say..... I woke today sick with a cold (slightly), have medicated myself appropriately and am looking forward to a couple of light days basically lazing around recuperating. Sounds like a good plan; we'll have to see how that works out.

I've spent some time today cleaning my place, sorting through a bunch of papers, hooking up my printer and getting my DVD player working again. David Gilmour's 'Remember That Night' DVD is playing now - love it!!

Tonight I'll either join up with Lynda for the evening or go to a meeting; I need a speaker for Monday night when I chair. The last couple of times Lynda and I have been together we've talked about where we are to live - the house (her place now), or my place (the townhouse), or sell them both and find something that suits us both better. Bloody amazing changes going on. I really haven't had time to consider all this as much as I'd like.

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Shooting Star

On December 23 Canada lost one of it's elite - the great jazz pianist Oscar Peterson. CBC Radio has been re-airing a 1994 8-part documentary celebrating Peterson's life, career and body of work. I was just on the CBC web-site and it looks like they will be adding this series to their selection of podcasts. In addition they will be airing live a tribute concert from Toronto's Roy Thomson Hall at 4 p.m. this Saturday featuring Oscar's band mates and a number of celebrity guests.

http://www.cbc.ca/radio2/blog/2008/01/09/oscar_peterson_simpl.html

I've managed to catch portions of most of the episodes aired so far but would love to hear it in its entirety. Thanks to cousin BJ for the heads up about it. I'd give my eye teeth to be in that hall on Saturday but I'd likely have to camp out from midnight the night before to get a seat.

I'm unable to think of another musician who dedicated himself to his craft to the extent that Mr. Peterson did. We'll miss him.

Labels: , , ,

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

'bye.......


Here's a shot Sarah forwarded. It was taken at the airport just before they boarded their flight.
Sweet, handsome child..... I miss him.

Labels: ,

Topical / Semi Tropical.......

THE WEATHER!!!!!!

It's what eveyone is talking about. We've gone from the deep freeze a few days ago to shattering all standing records for the warmest temperatures on these dates; ever. +14C yesterday, same expected today with a possiblity of thundershowers this afternoon. Crazy, unheardof. Except where the snow had drifted high or plowed into piles, it is gonzo, nada, finito. Bottom line, I'm enjoying the respite from freezing and having to layer up to stay warm.


On another note (hiya Kel) I caught a 10 -15 minute docu on our national broadcast tv station - CBC - about the ongoing drought in Australia, its impacts and possible reasons for it. Very scary to have 2 years back to back - bad for the farmers, little or no crops = going slowly broke; bad at market, rising prices for what little produce there is. My memory is bad and I saw it a couple of weeks ago but it was shot at a place called (or similar to) Caraganal (?). The locals, as a gesture of defiance against the rain gods, built a lawn bowling green as a place to gather and socialize. Good on ya.


Yesterday I was to have been done and gone from work by 9 am but because of the variety, volume and nature of 'things' that had happened over the weekend our meeting ran way long and I wasn't away until 10:30. I stopped by Mom's for a quick visit on the way home - a cuppa and a chat - but I found as soon as I stopped moving I started fading. I jumped back into the car, came home and spent the afternoon on the couch listening to music and snoozing. There was an arranged appointment for the cable guy to come hook us up. Imagine having lived here for over 6 months without tv!!!! Haven't missed it one iota except the news. With my boarder here, Al, I figured I better get with it. Thing is the one outlet I wanted for certain to work - Al's - doesn't, and I have to have the tech come back. (Same company that screwed up my internet installation, btw.)


What to do today? Maybe a haircut; gettting shaggy. Clean up around here; sweep and wash some floors. Cook dinner and invite Lynda over - she's fine, thanks for asking. We may not see each other daily but at least talk a few times and email on those occassions when we can't be together. There's another session with my foster teen tonight - sure hope things are better for him this week. There are more things, software to be installed on this re-worked computer so it is fully functioning again. I haven't a lot of time here at home to fiddle and spend time on it.


Just had a call from work wondering if I can do another overnight shift to cover for a sick co-worker. Hurt me! I'll go attend to this and see how it all works out..............Later.

Labels: ,

Higher Awareness

I've made reference to this site before and I'll include a link to their home page. Subscribe and each day one of their perspective pieces pops into your inbox for your perusal and consideration. I find it to be of value to me; a good way to start my days. (and no... this isn't 12 step oriented)

Here is the link:http://www.higherawareness.com/

and with all rights and credit going to Higher Awareness: a sample from today regarding 'Living in Harmony'.

Living in harmony

"Peace comes not from the absence of conflict, but from the ability to cope with it."
-- Unknown Source

Angeles Arrien says that life will be simple if we follow the four-fold way counselled by indigenous peoples:
1. Show up, being present with all four mental, emotional, physical and spiritual intelligences.
2. Pay attention to what has heart and meaning.
3. Tell the truth without blame or judgment.
4. Be open to outcome, not attached to outcome.

"Peace is not won by those who fiercely guard their differences, but by those who with open minds and hearts seek out connections."
-- Katherine Paterson

Have a great day - Norm.

Labels: ,

Friday, January 04, 2008

Ever Wish....

....you could simply walk back out of a situation?? Especially when it's one not of your making??

I walked into one of those tonight when I arrived to pick up the foster teen I've been working with....not pretty. It turned into a simple respite outing with no activity attached to it - a cooling off period for everyone involved.

Oy vey - I wasn't prepared for that tonight.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Just For Fun

cash advance

Fast Payday Loans



I'm not about to go all highbrow now but maybe I should pick it up a little bit.

Whatd'ya think?

Labels:

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Looking Back & Ahead

Today was busy. Up early and over to the house to write a CV for Lynda's youngest son. He generally works seasonally; fair weather only - but he's heard of a large hiring and wants some cash. Then there were a few hours spent moving my new boarder in and then doing some grocery shopping so we'd have something in the house to eat. He headed out to visit friends so I did some cleaning around the place; not all of it though, I saved some for tomorrow. A quick dinner and off for a session with the foster teen. We'd had a week and a half lay off over the holidays and we've wound up back a step or two; he was distant and quiet tonight. More better days ahead.....

I'm in a hurry to go to bed so I can get up tomorrow cuz I have 3 dates lined up!!! Mom and I are heading out in the morning to run around town and see what sort of trouble we can get into. I think she wants to get her hair done and return some gifts that weren't quite right. While we're out I plan to pick up something tasty for dinner, something to slow roast through the afternoon because I've invited Lynda for dinner. There has been a clear change with regard to Lynda lately and I don't know what to attribute it to - the holiday season; Sarah, Daniel and Zeph's visit; my incredible good looks, sparkling personality and wit (har-dee-har-har). Whatever it is, I like it cuz it's made a difference.
My third date is in the evening. I have to hustle Lynda out after dinner so I can pick up my 88 year old girlfriend Audrey. We hadn't seen each other in the weeks leading up to Christmas so I called her today and she wound up asking me to escort her to a meeting tomorrow night. It happens to be a friend's 20 year medallion presentation so.....let us eat cake. Can't wait to spend some time with her again - she's been a tremendous help to me this past year.

Note to BJ - after reflecting on that particular Dalai Lama quote it dawned on me that the spirit and intent of it is the same as the serenity prayer - check it out. Actually, I still need to reply to the rest of that email, don't I?? Ok, gotta go.... or I'll be running late all day.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Spankin' New Year

Just like a shiny new penny waiting to be spent in any way you wish.

Last night was a feel good experience at work after I'd cautioned the guys in treatment about how emotionally loaded an evening they were headed into. They made their calls early after returning to the residence from their meeting.....and then let it go. Many were in bed early - about 10 heralded the new year watching TV coverage from Toronto, New York and around the world. No incidents; unlike last year.

Sarah called from Vancouver to say they'd all come down with the flu upon their return, one after the other with Zeph getting it last. They were celebrating quietly. I had taken them to the airport last Friday and I was doing really well until it was time for them to go through the boarding gate - then I choked up and the tears started to roll. 'Mommy, why is that man crying?' "I think he's happy and sad at the same time, honey." Walking back to the van wiping tears from my face wondering if I can wait until Sarah and Daniel's wedding in June to see Zeph again. Dunno about that.

I've been lying in the living room resting since I got off work listening to the Eagles new release - Long Road Out Of Eden; Linda Ronstadt's - A Merry Little Christmas; and B.B. King's - Deuces Wild - duet collection. They're all filled with inspired playing, arrangements and singing. I had an email from cousin BJ about the importance of music and other small pleasures as ways of sustaining ourselves. Too true! Self-care is under-rated but all too important. I was also on the receiving end of a gift from a very talented blog-friend whose work I had admired - it's arrival coincided with Xmas although not intended as an Xmas gift. Blessings of kindness and friendship continue to flow my way.

It's time to stop being lazy, get cleaned up and head over for dinner with Lynda. We talked last evening and again this morning, wishing one another a better year this year - together. Our anniversary is coming up in April and this will mark our 10th year married; how does one handle this one?? Ignore the events of this past year?? Once again, I dunno. "Don't anticipate - wait and see. Go with how you feel." It'll work out the way in which it is supposed to.

Gotta go -- later.......

**update** Wed.'s offering from 'Higher Awareness' brings this quote - "It is not my business to think about myself. My business is to think about God. It is for God to think about me."
Simone Weil

If I tune in I get the answers I'm looking for.