The Horror

Careful - you could find this upsetting. Don't read on if you think you might be.

A little background...... When Lynda and I split up early last year - February, I think she lowered the boom - we continued living under the same roof until I was able to move, in July, to the townhouse I bought. That interim period was difficult to say the least but we managed to make it work for the most part pretty successfully. Once I moved I gradually got to know my immediate neighbours and spent some time with them; had a nodding acquaintance with many others in the development. Saw all the usual comings and goings; got to know various people's connection to one another and their schedules. During our time apart we weren't really on our own much and chose to spend most of our free time together either at the house or my place. Eventually we reconciled our differences and I moved back home at the beginning of May this year. When I moved back Lynda's youngest son moved from the house over to the townhouse and set up housekeeping there. Close enough to be handy; distant enough for some separation - like 5 kilometers worth.

Fast forward to today - Just as Lynda and I began to eat dinner we got a call from her son - Moose, as he is affectionately known. 'Can I call you back? We're just eating.' "No - you're going to want to hear this." Looking out the front living room window he had seen a guy sitting on the curb with blood gushing from his neck, soaking him, when a police car came screeching in; sirens screaming; lights flashing. One officer attended to the guy; the other approached the nearest entrance following the blood trail. He is confronted by a guy wielding a knife and is stabbed; draws his gun, warns him to drop the weapon and then shoots him. More police arrive followed by fire trucks and ambulances. Inside they find 2 more men injured, a woman dead plus two children gravely injured. We continued to get periodic updates from Moose throughout the evening and at the height of the episode there were 5 ambulances, 3 fire trucks and 20 police cars. All driveways were taped off and blocked; returning residents were made to park at adjoining properties and escorted to their homes. Apparently now they are down to 5 police cars and 2 forensic vehicles - a 10 ton truck and a Winnebago. It was the lead item on the news at 11. The man wielding the knife was shot dead. The occasion was a family birthday party.

So, enough reportage. While I don't know any of these people involved I am, on an emotional level, completely aghast and appalled; shaken and sorrowed. Things like this are reported all the time and I suppose for myself the 'distance' factor comes into play. Oh, it's in that city down the road or across the continent, or that neighbourhood over there that we've passed through from time to time. A comfort cushion that removes it a comfortable distance away so it doesn't affect me to the same extent. But this incident happened 60 feet from my old front door. 60 feet - my door!! I've seen these folks going about their lives on a daily basis - they've seen me coming and going about my business. Now 2 of them are dead, 2 other adults seriously injured and the children - 3 and 5 years old - stabbed and fighting for their lives. Oh... the children... scarred for life if they make it. Physically , mentally and emotionally. Lord hear my prayers. They were airlifted into Toronto for the best possible care, thankfully.

I don't want to let my mind venture into what happened within that home during those critical minutes - such insanity; such horror; much sorrow. But venture it will, I'm sure.

Homicide - a nice, neat word for bloody murder.

http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_29629.aspx

Little Things

There will be a separate post for the really big news when I get to it.

I haven't written lately about observations of the natural world about me here - and that in itself is unusual. Most of the migrations through the area went unnoticed by me this year and that might be because I don't hang around outside smoking like I used to. There are waves to the Canada geese migration which I did notice. The main part of it is massive with all the females, the sick, the elderly and the younger males. That part of it can be spread out over a few weeks and seems endless. Like 'where are they all coming from?' Typically there is a definite lapse of a couple of weeks and then the oldest healthy males begin to come when the weather turns sharply colder.

Ahead of the geese went all our colourful songbirds; gone until springtime arrives again. This week I saw the first bunch of chickadees and a pair of cardinals. We have a number of blue jays squacking in the neighbourhood. Hide your nuts!

We've noticed the last few evenings right after dusk a pair of brilliant objects in the south-western sky and wondered aloud what they might be. Tonight after arriving at work I got on the 'Sky and Telescope' site and found it is Venus and Jupiter. Have a look after it gets full dark - they're in view until about 8 p.m. - can't miss 'em. They are within 2 degrees of one another.

I seem to recall there is supposed to be a very bright object in the daytime sky known as 'the sun' but I haven't been fortunate enough to have seen it lately. There is to be a big storm rolling through beginning tomorrow night so perhaps it'll show it's happy face when that is over with.

Skipping subjects now but... I've about given up reading Howlin' Wolf's biography. The author has done a very thorough job and cites numerous sources but there is a uniformity, a sameness to what everyone has to say about him. It's gotten tiresome by the halfway point so I think I'll bail. Maybe I'll just spot read what he has to say about the 'London Sessions' release which is the only record of his that I own.

After writing about having gained weight I started thinking about when, what and how much I eat. The 'what' part is okay - pretty healthy variety. When and how much depend on whether it's a work week or not. If I'm not working I have a bad tendency to forget to eat lunch - busy with running around. I'll skip it and wait to eat dinner with Lynda if she's around or if she isn't have dinner early. My portions seem normal to me.
Now during my work weeks things get cranked up a notch because I'm usually up 18 or so hours a day. Check out this list:
2 p.m. - 3 coffees w/ cream & sugar + a bowl of cereal w/ milk.
5:30 p.m. - a full dinner with Lynda.
Through the evening and night - coffee, tea, water and snacks like granola bars, chocolate, yogurt, berries.
Anytime between midnight and 3 a.m. another full dinner - whatever the guys in-house had for dinner - a plate is saved for me.
Sometimes I'll have another bowl of cereal before I leave for home so I don't wake through the day because of hunger. (Sleep is a precious commodity which needs protecting, don't ya know?) Seem like a lot?? Maybe it is too much for the amount of energy I expend this time of year.

Hmmm... a little exercise couldn't hurt.

I Bow Down To....

... guitar god..... I am not worthy, etc, etc.....

I don't check Jeff Beck's site very often because frankly, it doesn't get updated very frequently so I was gladdened last night when I checked in at the 'WorldWideGlen' blog and found there is new JB product out NOW!! Woo-Hoo!!! CD on the shelves now and a DVD to follow in December or January. I'll hold out for the DVD I think. It is titled 'Performing This Week.... Live at Ronnie Scott's'

A quickie recap of info gleaned from Glen, Jeff's site and Eagle Records - 16 live tracks; best performances chosen by Jeff from a multi night stand at Ronnie Scott's club in London England. Standing room only shows; rave reviews; a guitar clinic put on by a master musician, a journeyman.

"the usually sedate London Times gushed, "…perhaps the greatest living guitar virtuoso…combining astonishing technique with a blissful nuance he exercised an almost supernatural control of his fretboard."

Here's a link to a performance at the Crossroads Festival in Chicago from last year which features the same band line up. Vinnie Colaiuta on drums, Jason Rebello on keyboards and the amazing young Aussie lady Tal Wilkenfeld on bass. Jeff gets his guitar talking, singing and soaring on this one. (This features an impressive bass solo by Tal as well.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIFFRHBCPzA

Enjoy. I did.

Tonight I'm Grateful For....

.... standing amidst gently falling fluffy snowflakes this still, silent night and appreciating the beauty of the moment.

..... an hour long phone conversation with my daughter out in Vancouver. We did a thorough check in with where we are in our lives, talked about our joys, sorrows and high hopes. We laughed.... and told one another how important our relationship is.

.... a rare and unexpected email from my son. Wonders never cease; independent cuss.

...... a break in the lousy weather that allowed Lynda and I to walk the dogs after she arrived home from work. Walking and talking - a good way to start my day and wind down from hers.

.... an hour spent with the overnight counsellor reminiscing about the foolishness and insanity of our drinking and drugging days. Dumbfoundingly amazing that we survived our stupidity. Knee slapping funny to talk about though. 20/20 hindsight and all that....

..... friends - you know who you are.

Satisfied I have enough......

This Too Shall Pass

This week I've been keeping myself, my thoughts and moods to myself because I haven't felt I've been very good company..... why share the negative stuff here... a little too much time on my own I think. Some struggles with mood swings happening and some of the causes are knowns; others not so much. Trying to muddle through and sort them out best I can. Various pressures are vying to swamp my boat - I ain't gonna let'em.

Seems to be a lot of that going on these days with people I know personally and yes, out there in the ether as well. Broken spirits, broken hearts, grief stricken souls, struggles on the job, with family, in hearts and minds, with past issues, fearful of the future. Stress on stress - bah!

Best advice to self - be patient. be persistent. be kind. be grateful. allow others to be themselves. let go and let God handle the big stuff.

A post of Lea Kelley's got me thinking along more appreciative lines tonight
http://leakelley.wordpress.com/2008/11/26/thank-you-for-someone-else/
so, thank you Lea Kelley for your thought provoking perspective. I'm glad I have my own problems and not anyone else's. Things could, after all, be very much worse than they are.

BTW Lea - I'd like your email address should you drop by.

I should have learned to play the banjo. Ever see someone plucking a banjo that wasn't smiling? Me neither.

Cast a Giant Shadow

I haven't been taking any pictures this last couple of months so here is another one from the summer - Lynda and I. Awhile back I wrote about finally gaining back some weight and breaking the 140 lb barrier. Lately my clothes, particularly my pants, have been feeling tight and I finally got around to getting on the scale. Without any conscious intent to gain more pounds I'm on the plus side of 150. Woo-Hoo!! Got that nice middle aged white guy profile happening - skinny legs and arms, no ass, no pecs but a nice belly. Go ahead - swoon now - this is your cue. Actually I'm more comfortable heading into winter carrying a bit of weight because I usually get sick at least once and loose a bunch. I can't continue to gain though or else I'll have nothing to wear. Heaven forbid after that description.


We have a couple of comedians in residence - this is Buddy and Milo lounging under a wine cart in the kitchen. Milo beat Buddy for his favourite spot and evidently Buddy thought "screw you - I'll just hop up here.' Thankfully that is tempered glass cuz Buddy weighs about 16 lbs. Who rules in our house?? If you guessed the pets, you'd be right.

Cold Snap

Snapshot of the weather - We've experienced our first really cold couple of days. Back on Friday when I did that sleepover shift it got down to about -12C. Natch it was the first day I forgot to put on my longjohns before coming to work. Shiver and shake, baby! Thankfully it warmed up into Sunday and the forecast looks pretty good for the days ahead, hovering near freezing.

I took an unplanned break from blogging as I worked Thursday, and Friday into Saturday and so Saturday was a write-off. There was very little sleep to be had Friday night with the details of 6 admissions swirling around my brain most of the night. The day was spent goofing around with the dogs and the evening watching TV with Lynda; early to bed. We had a full day Sunday before I came to work. By the time I get off work & get myself home come morning I will have been up for almost 24 hours. (So, if this reads kind of choppy you know why.) But I thought I'd best post something here even if it's just a little update. Later, folks.

Downtime??

Hah!!!

These weeks off are something else. I'd blog more often but my time is taken up doing all the things that have built up that I shoulda, woulda, coulda done through last week but..... wasn't able to.

Sunday is a brain dead day; doing as little as possible and getting some rest. Monday is forcing myself up early and beginning to tackle the to-do list. Yesterday flew and it is Wednesday already - amazing. Mostly I'm in and out of the house every few hours on account of the dogs - don't want them cooped up for too long.

Besides checking on-line for new job postings I haven't spent much time at the computer. A few checks here and there on blog friends but not much nor often. I have heard from a few - talked with JPW a few nights ago and caught up on some news. Emails from BJ and a couple of blog friends. Get well soon Martin - harsh luck.

As to things at work; 'the house'. Now that we have complied with clearing the house we've been instructed and allowed to build up the client resident population again. Geniuses, I tell ya. I work a day shift tomorrow and one of those 26 hours sleep over shifts Friday into Saturday morning. The back to my regular series of 7 night shifts come Sunday night. Woo-Hoo!!!!

Yesterday I had to break off clearing up the last of the leaves because a band of snow showers came through so heavily I had to quit. Now I have a couple of hours to devote to cleaning up the rest of them - that should do it for this year. Off again.....

Musical Interlude

Roaming about here I found this marathon version of 'Comfortably Numb' for Robin. It was released on David Gilmour's DVD 'Remember That Night'; recorded at London's Royal Albert Hall in May 2006. Released August 2007. This features vocals by David Bowie. (Beware the laser effects - they almost put me into a seizure.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM0Pl80Zf00&feature=related

JPW's and my favourite track from Gilmour's 'On An Island' CD - 'Take A Breath'. Video from an AOL Sessions recording done in New York two days before Lynda and I saw him perform at Toronto's Massey Hall.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KboVg6SEABM&feature=related

Back to the DVD for a short vocal 'Find The Cost Of Freedom' with David Crosby and Graham Nash. Beautifully done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-Y0SMitMpk

I've run out of time - see ya!

Twas a Dark and Stormy Night

We've had a large storm sweeping through with 36+ hours of non-stop rain. Last night was quite mild at around 12 degC. Tonight as I was leaving home to come to work the temperature was beginning to drop like a rock due to a brisk north wind. Now it's 2 a.m. and I see the rain is mixed with sleet and snow. Southbound cars are covered with snow. Oy vey!!! It couldn't last, could it?? Here comes the long winter night. Geez, sure hope I have a snow brush and scraper in the trunk of the car.

It's a good night to be holed up where it's warm, some good tunes playing and a hot cuppa close at hand. (The tunes - Daniel Lanois 'Acadie'.)

Seeing as how there is very little actual work to do I came to work late after attending a local meeting, around 10, and plan to leave early at 5. I did up some paperwork for the week ahead so that the guy I share the job with won't have to struggle with it. Other than talking awhile with the on duty counsellor I prowled the house looking for things to do - straighten this out, fix that, clean the other. You know, idle hands and all that. Whatever needs doing.........

Actually I had a chance to write responses to two ads that were in the paper. One I have to drop off. The other needed to be faxed - is it bad form to fax a CV from your present place of employment? If so, too bad. It's already gone.

Today I have to be up early for an afternoon AA committee meeting and hope to find out more about the new position I was elected to. Monday morning is the big meeting here at work. (dun, DUN, dun, DUN, dun, DUN) Monday night I chair my home group meeting.

Sunday morning ...... winding down.

Stolen - Honest

I was browsing through my daughter Sarah's albums on Facebook and came across this one she took last weekend during a visit to Victoria, B.C. with her Mom and Zeph. Striking, isn't it? If I'm not mistaken this is the provincial parliament building beautifully silhouetted against a cloudless sky.

Sorry Sarah, I had to 'borrow' it. I'll return it in good condition. Promise.

Unreality

The last of our clients left early Friday morning but 'the powers-that-be' want staff on the premises around the clock until we find out at Monday's meeting exactly what the future holds. For a big place that is usually so busy and bustling with life it seems surreal coming in here and rattling around mostly on my own. No one to look after. Each night there will be a counsellor doing an overnight sleep-over shift so I'm not completely alone but still.....

The guy I'm on with tonight doesn't sleep much and stayed up talking for hours. Plus we watched an old movie - Simon Birch. Picture a couple of middle aged old farts watching a sentimental tear jerker and getting all weepy. Ah well. It did give us something to do for a couple of hours. Saturday night will be concert night I think - probably Crossroads Festival 2007.

The Times, They Ain't A'Changin'

When I saw Dylan play the O'Keefe Centre back 20 years ago or so I swore I'd never lay down money to see him again. I came away feeling I had been ripped off, .... that Bob and the band had had an off night, ... it seemed to me he was drunk because he kept having to be saved by his second guitarist when his fingers got tangled up in phrases. I was really disappointed because he was one of the few major acts I had never seen and I was up for it; wanted to see and hear a good show.

Fast forward to Tuesday night. Deja vu all over again. Never, ever again. Hyped up and let way down. One reason I wanted to go was that we have a new hall in town and Dylan is the first big name headliner to grace us at the GM Centre. So, what was wrong? Well, neither he nor the band once acknowledged the crowds presence - they might as well have been jamming through a rehearsal. The sound production was so bad that you couldn't recognize most of the songs. I could see the guy on the sound board fiddling with slides and switches and there were some minor improvements but not enough to make a real difference. Between Bob's chording on his keyboard and the bass & drums it created a prevailing muddy bottom end that the guitars couldn't get through. Vocals were unintelligible. Vocal delivery was harsh and hoarse. About the only thing that came through clearly was Dylan's harmonica playing. Song arrangements weren't good. The pedal steel player was so low in the mix that he might as well have had the night off - couldn't hear him. (which is a shame; very talented guy who used to play for BR5-49)

Like I said in my previous post I ran into a number of people I knew there. No one was happy no matter where in the hall they were seated. One of the counsellors I work with was there with his wife and were seated a couple of sections closer to the stage. He used to be a professional musician and said he could have produced better results on the sound board than what he heard.

Was there anything to like? Yes, a few flashes of brilliance from either of his two guitarists, his harmonica playing and they did a nice understated version of 'Nettie Moore' from 'Modern Times'. That's about all folks. Bad choice by me for a night out.

* To be fair I just checked online reviews - there were three of them - and they all glowed. One of them did mention the muddy sound mix. All I can say is they must have been right up front or they are such fans that they won't say anything bad about him. Or were they at the same show as me??

Words Escape Me

Lynda and I attended the Dylan show last night and I'm doing a bit of checking around to see if my perceptions of it are on or not.

Lynda was shaking her head because I was saying hi and waving to a bunch of AA and NA people I saw before, during and after the show. "All these people are alkies and druggies?' Yup.

Anyway, I'll post about the concert tonight.

Tag, I'm It

Thanks to Robin at Life In The Bogs and Bountiful Healing I've been tagged with a random facts meme. I've done this once before when both Robin and Kel at xfacta got me with the same one which can be seen here: http://constantchangeisthenorm.blogspot.com/2007/07/7-random-facts-meme.html#comments.

So, I'll scratch my head, ponder a bit and see what I come up with. This one is nice as it has no rules and doesn't necessarily have to be passed on ... heh, heh - we'll see about that part.

1) This could be a post unto itself but these days I have a bad case of 'itchy feet'. I'm dying for change on a number of fronts - to see some place new and walk different ground; a new vocation; more education; to see my kids and their kids. The list goes on and on but you get my drift. Also due in part to the international nature of blogging I'd like to see much more of the world. I've always had an interest in geography and different cultures. (Not entirely sure if that qualifies as a fact but....)

2) Best trip. No not the acid, mescaline or peyote type. It was a 2 week driving tour of Texas and New Mexico cruising around in a Cadillac. There were parts of Texas that I really liked but I just loved New Mexico. I'd have to visit again and spend more time but I'm pretty sure I could live there quite happily. That trip was almost 20 years ago and was actually the honeymoon I had with my second wife Jan. Despite the lack of sleep we had a blast driving and singing as we went. Better than Florida, way better than Jamaica.

3) Favourite concert experience. Casting way back in time for this but it's a toss up between Led Zeppelin's first appearance (1970?) in Toronto at a really small hall known as the Rock Pile where they played everything from their first two albums OR Pink Floyd's 1972 show at Maple Leaf Gardens in quadraphonic sound when they played all the material from both 'Meddle' and 'Dark Side of The Moon'. Both shows were BRILLIANT. and yes, I know I'm a dinosaur thanks so much for noticing.

4) I used to think I was pretty smart until I learned some stuff. Now I have some small idea of all that I don't know.

5) There have been times where I've been positively euphoric; others when I've been desperately unhappy and depressed. Times of relative wealth; others of poverty. Coincidentally the times when I've perceived myself to be rich and happy are the times where my most important relationships were at their peak. With my wife, kids, parents, friends and workmates.

** Continuing from last night.... I've spent so much time at this computer tonight catching up on paperwork, writing emails and reading up blog friends posts that my eyes are just about fried out of their sockets. I think these last couple will be short and to the point.

6) Robin mentioned a couple of shows she enjoys watching - the dance competitions. On my weeks off when I can sit down to watch TV I have a really hard time finding anything of interest or find entertaining. It's a wasteland out there. Last week I caught an episode each of 'House' and 'ER' that were both good. I usually scan for movies or music shows. Note for cousin BJ - a friend of mine directed a doc which is airing on CBC Thursday night at 9. Check it out and let me know what you think - I'll miss it because I'm working.

7) I'm 30 years old, incredibly smart, charismatic, handsome, single and wealthy. This would be a made up fact. A complete lie. Honest.

As to who to tag: how about Martin at HSTBooks because I don't know enough about him; and Amuirin at Stop & Wander because I can't recall her ever having done one and would like to see what she comes up with. And Am, no time pressure cuz I know you're writing for NaNoWriMo. You can either link back here with your post or reply in the comment section.

Golden Slumbers

Owen would have been completely insulted had we suggested he have a nap because, 'naps are for babies, Pops. Big boys don't have naps.' "Okay, O." On this afternoon he climbed up on the windowseat with Milo and after chattering away for a few minutes, then daydreaming for a few more he promptly fell deeply asleep. On awakening he was one very surprised little guy. What happened?? 'I dunno!! I sleeped, I guess!!' A shrug of the shoulders and off he went again on another adventure.

Mis(sed) Cue

Lynda and I got back to the house near dinner time Sunday and after we had shucked off our coats she had a look in the cupboard and the fridge.

'Hmmm... damn! There's no wine in the house. I could really go for a nice glass of red wine.'

"Yeah hon, so could I. Been awhile." Baa-doom-doom! Rimshot.

Blew that one. I think the response she was looking for was for me to grab the car keys and head back out to the liquor store to pick up a bottle. Men can be so thick sometimes. Ah well, she still loves me despite my shortcomings.

Choo Woo - Train of Thought

I took a couple of days away from blogging cuz my mind has been off the rails lately and I simply didn't feel like writing. There had been no news on the work front and there didn't seem to be much point in revisiting that whole situation if there was nothing new to say. My time has been full working around the house, applying for jobs, checking postings online and running around and between towns. I've been fortunate in that some blogmates have reached out with direct messages of hope and encouragement. Many thanks - I appreciate your care and will reply later tonight or tomorrow. Actually, if the time signatures are to be believed, my email accounts received 8 messages within a half hour from bloggers, my workmates and a couple of AA friends. Reading through them made my day. One of them was a reply from my former asst manager who was let go last week. We're keeping our eyes open for positions that might be of interest to one another.

I never did find any 'day' work last week; even registering with these temp agencies isn't straightforward anymore. On Saturday afternoon I went to a job fair for a major U.S. retailer that is expanding here - it was a cattle call; crowded beyond belief. (No Robin - not the Evil Empire.) There was a brief 'pre'interview where a guy reviewed my application. 'Hmmm.... You've been working at a treatment facility. THAT must be interesting.' I think he wanted to be the fly on the wall here for a few hours just to see. I'm supposed to get a call within a week and be told if there will be a call back for another interview.

Had a talk with daughter Sarah one night there and her crew is doing well. Zeph got through some major teething and has a mouthful of teeth to show for his discomfort. 6 new ones? Maybe 8. He looks too little to have so many anyway. He was out for his first Halloween as a spotted puppy dog - cute!

Driving in to work tonight the DJ on the radio was doing a themed show and tonight's first hour happened to be music to do with 'happiness'. As he was wrapping up some thoughts on the subject he mentioned as an afterthought that 'we all have a choice regarding whether we will be happy,.... or not.' Well, after having spent the better part of a week in a funk, happy sounded pretty damned good. I should resist the urge but what the hell.... 'Don't worry... be happy....'

I took in a couple of extra meetings last week - one Thursday night and another Saturday night - and I heard and saw a couple of things that I needed to. The speaker at the first one had some things to say about money - being rich and poor in recovery. Hmmm... timely. Personally I would automatically choose rich but that could also be dangerous, I suppose. At Saturday's meeting, just before it started, a guy I've known since I came to AA sat down beside me. He preceded me to 'the rooms' by a number of months and I run into him occasionally around town either at meetings, in coffee shops or while shopping. Good guy. At the end of the meeting when they present chips for varying lengths of sobriety he shocked me by getting up to receive a 'desire' chip. He had relapsed and it was his first meeting coming back from a 6 week binge. We got talking outside and he said it was the same old story - stop doing the 'do' things like talking with program people, stop attending meetings, let your program lapse, the tools get rusty, you start thinking you can manage one drink, and you get drunk. Thanks John. Your experience might save me from that same thing down the road somewhere.

Time for a break and a walkabout.

In Unison - Stepping Out

While sorting through some prints I came across this one of Owen and I taken during his week long visit with us back in August. At first glance it didn't seem too special until I noticed we were in synch, completely in step with one another. Weight on the right foot, stepping forward with the left, hands in the same position, looking down and ahead - Pops and O enjoying a walk on the beach.

This shot includes a couple of rare sightings. I wear shorts maybe once a year because I don't like how my legs look - skinny, scarred, discoloured. And I rarely wear a hat - it must have been awfully bright and hot that day (and if it was where is Owen's sun protection?).

Photo credit to Lynda. Yes, that is Lake Ontario.

Dazed Days

Although we're enjoying a brilliant warm autumn day outside the weather between my ears isn't so good. Chuck full today with anxiety, fear and uncertainty. This too shall pass.....

In the meantime a shot of colour seems approriate. This shot is from our trip to Vancouver 13 or so months ago and if memory serves correctly Lynda took this one. We visited a few different gardens so I can't credit this one with any certainty.

I attended a meeting yesterday morning up at 'the residence' and things are still very much up in the air. Regular daytime staff have been assured of an income through until the end of the year. My status is yet to be determined in that regard. I might get pulled in with other staff to run day programming, or not. I know I'm supposed to work a shortened week next week into Friday morning. That is crunch day.

Lynda and I are talking out the various angles around these issues and mainly it's providing a way to vent and discharge the negative stuff but also brainstorm some creative solutions. Time to get back to working on some cover letters.....

Obama - rama

Johnny Canuck checking in to say Yahoooo!!! I started watching the election coverage at 9 pm local time and quickly caught the drift once Ohio & New Mexico went blue, woo-hoo!! Add the west coast and it totals out to 270+.... that's all she wrote. By 10 o'clock our national network had declared Obama the winner even as the west coast polls were closing.

McCain said all the sorts of things you could ask for in a concession speech; he really showed the good stuff he is made of. A class act indeed.

When Lynda got in from work I told her we had to watch Obama's speech, that it would be a barn-burner, a once in a life time event. I was envisioning something along the lines of Churchill, JFK or Martin Luther King and I wasn't disappointed. Same as King's "I had a dream" speech I found myself tearing up throughout his delivery. God bless him and best of luck through his term in office.

What's Ahead??

The plan is to try and do the quicky shift switcheroo so I can get my days and nights flipped around to 'real' world hours. I'll have a much abbreviated sleep after I get off work in the morning so I can be back in bed early Sunday evening, back up and semi-functional Monday morning. I intend to report to a couple of temporary employment agencies to see if I can line up any sort of work for the balance of the week. The hope is that I can make a positive impression somewhere and get hired on a full time basis. At the very least I can make some contacts and get a line on who is hiring in the area.

There are a couple more CVs and cover letters to be sent out; a couple of follow up calls to make for others I sent out previously. One guy I know works for a printing firm and had mentioned the possibility of a CSR position opening up - gotta track him down and bend his ear. I used to work in print.

What else? The countdown is on for that Dylan concert here in town next week, the 12th. Woo-Hoo!! I'm glad I splurged for those tickets. Here's hoping he has a good night. Hmmm.... let's listen to some 'Modern Times', shall we? Get online and check some reviews and set lists.....

Lynda will be working her later shift this week so maybe I'll try to take in a couple of extra AA meetings - get out and see some friends.

I'm also looking forward to the American election Tuesday and to see what the result will be. (Plus it will FINALLY!! be over.) It has been a long, exhausting process. All rhetoric aside, in a political sense Obama fills the bill for me. McCain is too much of a hawk for me. And although expectations are that this will be a close race I do hope there is a clear winner.

Enjoy your week - I'll be back around when I'm able.

Standard Time

What did you do with your extra hour?? Squeeze in another hour of sleep? Me, I got to work through mine.

Seems to me that the switch between Daylight Saving Time and Standard was originated to benefit the farming community.... (?) Are there continuing substantial benefits for modern business, industry and us urban dwellers? Personally I don't care for the onset of evening to be at 5 p.m. and I get thrown off for the first week while I adjust.

There was in item on the news about how there are increases in accidents and heart attacks each year at this time. Be careful out there people!

Maybe they should consider a name change to dress it up a bit. I mean Standard is pretty boring, doncha think? Special? Extra-Special? Especially Special Time? Get Out The Woolies Time? Wake Me Come Springtime Time??

No Good News

Following todays work meeting I had a brief email from my boss and then got the full low-down from the duty counsellor I'm working with tonight once I got in to work. Apparently there were a lot of shrugs from the muckety-mucks where it comes to concrete information about whether we have to close or not, or when. The ball isn't in our court and it's a wait and see proposition; decision pending.... and then scramble.

So I've spent some time cruising the job postings on-line and not finding much of anything. It's given me some time to chill - I get angry when things get so disorganized and the people you depend on for answers don't have any. Then I get a little reactionary........ and have to resist the urge to spew here. Take a deep breath Norm.

Thanks to blog friends for distracting me with your words and pictures and music. Aaahhhh!! One more night and I can put this week to bed.

BTW - We had a perfect evening for the little ones to be out trick-or-treating. Mild with clear skies and a light breeze.

When I get back to work tonight I'll be working with my favourite weekend counsellor who is a music nut like me. He brings in his portable hard-drive and we listen to all his new stuff. Woo-Hoo!! Let the good times roll.